secrets ↠ demi lovato / 5h

[41]

"I'll take the day off recording tomorrow," she said instantly. "I'll make up for it some other day. I'm coming with you, Lea."

I managed a watery smile. "thanks."

"do you want to call Demi as well? is Jamie going to be there?"

"Jamie, Alex and Thomas will be there... and Lydia. and John too. and Jaycee. I guess Max and Sugar would be a good addition. and I want Demi too."

"right. we'll call her, I'm sure she'll be able to catch a flight back here tonight. we're all here for you Lea, don't worry." Naya smiled at me before helping me up.

"why are you home early?" I asked, standing up and grabbing the used tissues from my lap before they fell.

"we wrapped earlier than expected, so I thought I'd come home early and make us dinner... how about that?"

no! I wouldn't be able to escape that! I could always make up an excuse, but I didn't want to let her down - she'd come home early just for me. she could've gone out with the cast or something, but she chose to come back. of course I had to say yes.

"sure!" I chirped, putting a smile on. "I-I'll go take a bath first, is that okay?"

"of course, sweetie. I think I'll do the same too. do you want to call Demi yourself or would you rather I do it?"

"I'll do it."

tw // body image 

as I stepped into the shower, I turned the knob to make it as warm as I could handle, then stood under the water staring at the tiled wall as if just standing there would help me to forget everything. I never wanted to get out of this shower. what if I just stood here forever? that'd be stupid, I told myself. and weird. why was I so dumb? still in the half dreaming state, I lathered up my hair and washed it twice before snapping out of it and finally moving onto the soap. as I washed myself, I began to wonder. what was my mom going to think when she saw me? I was probably fatter and uglier than before, probably even waddling instead of walking. my hair was longer, but did it mean that it looked greasier? I had started wearing makeup, but did that mean that I looked like I had sloppily caked on pounds and pounds of foundation? I got new clothes, but maybe they didn't suit me at all and I looked terrible but no one had bothered to tell me.

the tears came quickly, and I stuck my head under the water. clamping my hand over my mouth, I leaned against the cold tiled wall and sobbed. why? why did it have to be me? why couldn't I just be happy? I had wanted this my whole life, and once I actually got a chance, there just had to be so many obstacles. I was working so hard, to the point that some nights I had just collapsed into bed and slept like a baby until morning. with my mom here, there was a chance that I would have to stop everything and go back with her. she had been in such a state of depression after my dad died and after she split from my stepdad, that she had inclined to take it all out on Katelyn and I - until Katelyn was gone. then there was just me, and I was honestly terrified of what she could do to me tomorrow. she could very well petrify me into returning to Uniondale with her, to live in a cramped one room apartment, sleep on the floor, be basically like Cinderella, go back to regular school, where I was going to be bullied again and my anxiety was bound to jump right off the charts. I would probably be cut off from Demi, Naya and the girls, I'd have to leave my fans, my beautiful fans. I would never cuddle into Demi's side while watching the ID channel, never make her a mug of warm honey water, and hear her infectious laughter ever again. I'd never be called 'mija' by Naya ever again, I'd never come home and make things for her to eat, never wake her up in the mornings when she was running late and have her kiss my forehead. I'd never hang out with the girls, never dance with Normani, never listen to new music with Dinah, never scream Justin Timberlake lyrics out loud with Ally, never fangirl with Camila, and never lie next to Lauren while talking about anything and everything with The 1975 playing softly in the background.

if anything went wrong tomorrow, all of this would be gone in a flash.

all I could do was hope.

------

at precisely 3:30am, when I should've been sleeping, Naya and I were at the airport ready to pick Demi up. I had called her and started crying as soon as she picked up, then blubbered the whole situation out in sobs. immediately she booked the next flight, packed her things and jumped on the plane just in time. now we were about to be reunited, and I could tell that Naya was also excited to see her although the three of us knew that the reason was less than pleasant.

"she's here!" Naya said, snapping me out of my daze. I shot up from my seat, and looked frantically around for Demi.

and then I spotted the pillow.

both Naya and I ran towards her, and Demi sprinted towards us. the three of us collided in a massive hug, and I started crying again. Demi was here. she had flown to New York just so I could have her support when I met my mom again. she didn't have to do it, but she did.

"look at us," Naya said. "the badass trio. reunited."

Demi laughed, and I nearly burst into fresh sobs. I missed her so much, more than even i myself knew.

"badass trio?" Demi laughed. "you're so lame, babe."

Naya rolled her eyes. "well, excuse me for being excited you're back!"

they leaned in for a kiss, and i snuggled deeper into Demi's side.

in her arms, I felt safe. I felt safer than I had in a long time.

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A/N:
this is kinda short but sweet, I needed to bring Demi back in for next chapter, which is going to be meeting Lea's mom again!

if you have any ideas about what you want to happen, please comment! I'll try my best to include them.

anyway, I promise I'd have a chapter up by today on Twitter, so here you guys go! half term break is over for me, but I'll still try my best to update as regularly as possible.

picture of airport Demi attached because let's all pretend that those pictures were taken when she flew to New York to see Lea mmkayyy

I hope this chapter brightened your Monday/Tuesday in some way. :)

also, 60K?! INSANE. thank you guys so much.

xoxo I love you.