Kindergarten 2 oneshots!

Operation: Felix's laughter

Felix Huxley did not laugh.

It was a simple fact; common knowledge to every kid in Kind Garden High School. Felix was a stoic, serious, businessman, who had no time for 'frivolous, childish, activities', and rarely even cracked a smile. Laughing was out of the question; off the table; it was just impossible.

However, this didn't stop Ted desperately wanting to prove this theory wrong. His friends all mocked him over it, but he didn't care. He would get Felix to laugh, if it was the last thing he did.

"The day that Mr Smartypants laughs, I'll dress up like this spaz for a week," Carla commented, jabbing a thumb towards Ozzy, who faux-gasped in offence, "Mad scientist hair an' everything."

Naturally, Ozzy had agreed to help Ted, immediately eager to see Carla in his usual style of 'mildly neat spaz'. So, together, the boys brainstormed ideas, with hopes of finally getting Felix to laugh, although their prizes for doing so were quite different.

Attempt 1

"Hey-a, Fe!" Teddy skipped up to Felix, bouncing on his heel, barely able to contain his giddiness. Him and Felix were on better terms since the 'incident', which he was glad for, now having a lot more freedom, but also being able to talk to Felix normally. Felix glanced up from his novel - some Sherlock Holmes book, Ted assumed - and raised an eyebrow at Ted's bubbliness.

"...Yes?" he replied hesitantly, still confused at this strange behaviour.

"Did you see the news recently?" Ted's eyes shone as he clasped his hands together behind his back. Carla, who was sat on a nearby bench, pocketed her phone to watch.

"I don't believe I have. Why do you ask?" Felix questioned, his brow furrowed.

"Oh, everybody's talking about it!" Ted explained excitedly, "A panda bear walked into a restaurant and placed his order. When the waitress brought it to him, he ate, pulled out a gun, shot the waitress, and left. Everyone was horrified." Ted put all of his energy into stifling his grin, "They shouldn't be surprised. If you look up 'panda bear', it says 'a large marsupial that eats, shoots, and leaves'!"

Felix stared.

"Get it? Eats, shoots, and leaves? Eats shoots and leaves?" Ted frowned, slightly disappointed.

"Well, yes, but how would a marsupial such as a panda order at a civil restaurant?" Felix inquired, "Not to mention, they have no suitable appendages to hold and fire an armed weapon, or-"

"Forget it." Ted sighed, and trudged off. Carla followed, oddly upset.

Attempt 2

Ted inhaled sharply, before confronting Felix in the school playground. He had practised a joke that was more intelligent; Ozzy had suggested a joke specifically for smarter people.

Or, as he dubbed them, 'dictionary dweeb-wads'.

"Hi, Felix!" Ted greeted, an unusually enthusiastic tone of voice shining through. Felix returned the greeting wearily, wondering yet again why Ted was so bouncy.

"Can I help you..?" Felix couldn't keep the confusion out of his voice if he tried.

"You know how six is afraid of seven because 'seven eight nine', right?" Ted began, "Do you know why seven ate nine?"

"Seeing as how numbers are not sentient beings, which do not require nutrition, nor are capable of consumption, I-"

"Because you're supposed to eat three square meals a day!" Ted interrupted, grinning as he awaited a reaction. Felix's mouth opened and closed a few times.

"...Was that a joke pertaining to how 3^2, or three squared, equals nine?" Teddy slumped in defeat.

"Yeah..." And with that, he left again, leaving Felix baffled.

Attempt 6

Felix has become even more wary with every passing day, all the more while growing more confused. Ted would bounce up to him, practically quivering with excitement, tell him a joke or ask a strange question, then leave, seeming defeated. It was positively bamboozling.

Internally bracing himself, Felix saw Ted begin to approach him in the school corridor.

"Hey, Felix! Knock, knock!"

Felix blinked in surprise, before swiftly turning into his class and sighing.

Failure

Ozzy sat at the table in the living room of Huxley Manor, and Carla leant against the doorframe, as Ted sprawled himself on the couch, letting his arm hang limply to the floor.

"It's completely hopeless! He just won't laugh!" the Mexican girl opened her mouth to say something, only to close it again as Felix paced in, the same book from earlier in hand. Immediately noticing the borderline-uncomfortable silence, and Ted's limp laying, he raised a signature puzzled eyebrow.

"Is... everything alright, Teddy?"

"Sunshine and rainbows." Ted's muffled voice sounded from his face-down position. Still wrapping his head around the situation, Felix warily perched on the other couch; he had been expecting some kind of joke, but it seemed that his twin was feeling rather down.

All of a sudden, Carla groaned, slamming her head into the table. Both of the brothers turned to face her, as well as Ozzy.

"Why is advanced math homework so hard?" Carla moaned, drawing out the 'a' in 'hard'. Ted, who was still face-down on the couch, suddenly bolted up, and blurted without thinking,

"But surely it's easy as Pi!"

Ozzy scoffed at the bad joke; they all froze, and turned slowly, upon hearing an unfamiliar laugh. Felix quickly slammed a hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

"Really?" Ozzy crossed his arms, "That's, what got you?"

"Yes!" Ted squealed, bouncing excitedly, "I did it! I knew I could!"

"No fair!" Carla jumped up as well, indignant, "That was hardly even a laugh, c'mon!"

They all began overlapping each other, as Felix still sat there, confused as ever. Ozzy noticed.

"Ted bet Carla that he could make you laugh."

"So, that's why you've been acting so strangely!" Felix exclaimed in shock, glancing around for confirmation.

"Just wanted to hear you laugh." was Ted's response.

At that, Felix smiled, which soon grew into a grin. Then he chuckled, sending himself into full-blown laughter. He bent over, clutching his stomach, as tears pricked his eyes. Ozzy smirked.

"That enough of a laugh for ya', contraband girl?"

The next day

"So, what exactly did you win for your success?" Felix perched on the couch next to Ted, who was simply scrolling through some kind of social media on his phone. Reddit. Felix gained a little more respect for him.

"Well, I got to hear you laugh!" Ted grinned, pocketing his phone. Felix blinked.

"That's all? You received no prize?"

"Well..." Ted suddenly bit his lip, to stifle his laughter at something behind Felix, "Ozzy did."

Felix turned curiously, only to see... two Ozzys? One was absolutely miserable, and the other was grinning ear-to-ear with childlike excitement. After a single moment, Felix's jaw dropped, a mixture of shock and amusement washing over his face.

"Carla?!"

"And, without further ado, I present..." Ozzy paused for dramatic effect, "Mini me! Spastic germaphobe in training!" He threw out an arm, gesturing at 'Ozzy'.

"First of all, I am a warrior." Carla growled, unrecognisable underneath the make-up and ginger wig, "Secondly, I'm not 'mini'!" Angrily, she swiped the fringe out of her eyes, successfully smudging some foundation on her forehead. Slowly, Ozzy raised his arm, pointing directly towards the mark.

"...Simba."

And, to Ted's delight and Carla's humiliation, they heard Felix's laughter for a third time.