Love the Quiet Ones

໒ཏศ♇₮ཛཞ 8 ~ One Step Too Far

I was moving too fast, I knew it too, but I couldn't stop. He was right in front of me, flushed cheeks, breathing heavily, he was practically begging for it. What kind of man would I be if I didn't respond to the sexy scene? The clicking of his belt rung in my ears, it was a delicious sound. His pants were off before I knew it, his underwear not far behind. He was already wet, much to my appreciation.

The rest was a daze, one I both hope and dread is a dream. It was like I wasn't me, watching my body do things too quickly, without regard for consequence. I didn't prepare him enough, he cried out in pain. I licked up his salty tears, what am I doing? My heart stuttered as I saw his face, soaked with tears and red as a tomato. Adorable. I took out my phone quickly, not willing to let the oprotunity pass. He flinched as the camera flashed. The cutest picture yet.

He looked at it for a long moment, confusion in his lusty, glazed eyes. Is it weird that I'm happy with his face right now? The fact that he was confused on what a phone is because of what I was doing to him? Yes? Awe. I placed my forehead on his, whispering, "I love you." My heart beat furiously, I've finally said it.

His look quickly changed though, my heart started aching, he looked so panicked. To be quite honest, I'm sure I looked the same. I didn't know what I was doing really, sure, I've had more than my fair share of experience and I heavily researched this before I laid a hand on him; I didn't know what I was doing. I was out of my mind. He tried to slide me out of him, only causing a reply of a moan from both me and him. When did we get like this? I wondered as I looked at our connected bodies. I heard him whimper, no moans filled the heated car anymore. I couldn't bring my eyes to his, knowing full well what I would see in his eyes. Shame. Shame and guilt.

The spell was broken.

I quickly pulled out, neither of us had finished. I zipped up my pants, ignoring the throbbing, and handed him back his. He didn't hesitate to put them on as I left the parking lot, I'm amazed he stayed up right as I drove. We both stayed silent. Talking would make it real, neither of us wanted to make it real, for very different reasons.

I dropped him off at his house, waiting until I was sure he got in safely. I then proceeded to bash my head against the steering wheel. What am I doing? That wasn't the plan! I prayed he didn't hear me. That wasn't a situation you can confess him. I ran a hand down my face, it sounded so fake. I hope he didn't think it was fake.

I parked in the garage, I spent a moment and just looked at the picture I took. It was adorable, his glasses were slipping off his face and his entire face was flushed. I walked the four flights of stairs to our apartment level, putting away my phone as soon as I stood in front of my door. I opened the door and much to my dismay, my mother was home. I sighed deeply. She looked up from the boiling pot on the stove and smiled, though it quickly fell when she saw my face.

"What's wrong baby?" sage asked, setting down her wooden spoon ans turning odd the stove. She came over to me and wrapped me up in a hug.

"I messed up mama," I spoke softly.

"What'd you do pumpkin?" No matter how weird her job is and how childish she acts, she's my mother, and she was a good mother.

My throat closed up as tears leaked from my eyes. I couldn't talk, I felt like I was drowning. I silently handed her my phone, the new picture still open.

She gasped her face a mixture of affection, worry, and shock. "Baby," she started, tearing her eyes away from the picture, "you know boys don't usually show their mothers pictures of their crush during sex." She smiled ruefully at me.

I smiled back though my eyes were flooding my face with tears. The reality of what I'd done finally setting in. "Mama!" I wailed.

She hugged me until I was done, it had been at least an hour. I clutched my phone tightly to my chest and went to bed, ignoring my mother yelling to wear pajamas and do homework. I don't want to do anything, just lay down and die maybe. That'd be fine, to just die with the image of him still fresh in my mind.

I drifted off to sleep, my arms holding me tightly. I've really messed up, haven't I?

I went to school like normal when morning finally decided to roll around. I was more rumpled than usual, not that anyone would notice, I usually show up like I over slept. I fist bumped Jonas as I sat down in art, Adam was sitting right there, just within reach. He looked pale and my heart ached. What have I done?

Jonas waved his hand in front of my face, "Sam?" He asked me suspiciously, "are you okay?"

I turned to him, grateful for the distraction. Jonas switched in to this class from band. Why he did, he wouldn't tell me, though I knew him and Chris had band together. Hmmm, interesting. I shrugged, "fine I guess." I didn't bother telling him anything, he wouldn't understand, being the better person of the two of us.

He opened his mouth, most likely to call me out on my lies when the teacher's voice boomed over the room. "Projects due today everyone, pass them down the row."

I looked at Adam, he solemnly pulled out a sheet of paper from his backpack. My heart pulled yo hug him, make him feel better. I didn't want him being sad for reasons other than me. I pulled out my own project and passed it down, taking papers as they came and passing them down again.

A picture stopped in front of me and I had to pause to look at it. It was drawn but I looked do life-like. It was a little girl almost drowning in the hat on her head. There wasn't a background by there didn't need to be, the girl itself mesmerized anyone who saw it. She had green eyes that looked so deep you could fall into them and never be found, they reminded me of Adam's. I shook my daze off and handed it down.

At lunch I didn't trip Adam as he came walking by, didn't even look at him. I didn't really know why myself though. My head told me to talk to him like usual but my heart felt guilty. Oh god I felt so guilty.

What can I do about it though? Apologize? Sam Curtis doesn't apologize. I put my head in my hands, what can I do? ~