Nick X Judy : Late nights

Sticky situation

An entire week has spanned since my revelation with still no answer looming over me like a dark cloud, preventing me from seeing her as frequently with the unspoken promises I couldn't stop myself from asking her. Have you made a decision I would ask decisively. I couldn't do it to her. The wait was torturous: consuming my inner most thoughts on a daily basis and over riding my basic principle to complete tasks ,such as, filling in documents from work. Judy knew me so well therefore the silence on her part filled me with a hollow pit in my stomach and a dry mouth unable to communicate as I would look into her eyes trying to perceive.

I wasn't sure how to approach her and I think she knew with my head hung low as I walk into the office today. My uniform askew and as messy as my innermost emotions.

"Hi." She mumbled awkwardly as I averted her penetrating gaze. She scratched her head and blinked. Maybe she was as bad as me. She didn't look it though, radiant in her uniform however I couldn't help but notice her eyes were a dull listless shade missing their usual sparkle. Red rimmed with a crimson of bloodshot irises overhung dark circles covering her under eye.

"Judy." I address looking her up and down haughtily.

"Nick can we talk?" She pleaded as I leant against the marble pillar, arms crossed in defiance, guarded.

"Sure." I cut off. " let's go outside." I stalked off leaving her in my wake to follow me noticing her sprint to catch up with my walk. I held the door letting it silently shut feeling the bitter chill of the cold hit me square on. Judy caught up to me breathing heavily. I pulled out a packet of Marlboro's and placed one in my mouth, setting it aflame and took a long drag. Her eyes widened.

"Yes I smoke now. You drove me to it." I motioned and exhaled a ploom of smoke that dissipated into the atmosphere. She fell silent and bit on her lip. I shook my head flicking ash onto the pavement.

"Well? Aren't you going to talk?" I spoke harshly wishing the nicotine flow through my bloodstream and numb my senses. I was mad. Disappointed even. Upset. The sense of rejection made me shudder involuntarily and wonder why.

She sighed. "Yes I better. I suppose I asked for that." She slumped against the wall and exhaled in the same motion as me as I took another lingering drag. I listened with apprehension feeling wary at what she would say.

"But first Nick you can't revert to your old self when something goes wrong! I mean smoking? Really?"

I rolled my eyes. "It was going fine until you did what you did. Hell I love you but it's not fair how you have left me hanging. And I'm an adult last time I checked so I think I can do whatever the fuck I want." I retorted. My eyes narrowed into a thin line as I stared at the embers burning out of my cigarette until it was a blur.

"I didn't say I didn't want to move in with you!" She replied pointedly. Her arms folded across her chest as her lower lip trembled. She shook her head and took a step forward to me. "When did I say that? I said I wanted time. I wanted to decide. "

I stepped back against the wall and stamped on my cigarette diminishing the flame into the concrete aggressively. "Then what do you want?" I pressed.

She massaged her temples thoughtfully and sighed. "Nick I don't know. It's a lot."

I looked up to the sky resigned and maintained a strong stance refusing to let her see me upset. I had built a mask around myself as the independent alpha male who didn't show or register emotion. It was tough but I guess that was what I had preconceptions of a typical man representing as I gazed up into the blue abyss losing function of my surroundings and fading into a bubble of my own self awareness.

"Tell me that you don't want to move in with me and I'll stop."

She joined me and the wall nervously and shook her head. "You know I can't say that."