The Middle - Volume Three ✔️

Chapter 59 (Patrick)

“Agreed. I’ll be on my best behaviour with him.” I try to make a joke, so he’ll stop worrying about this shit.

He gives me a small smile, says his last goodbye then leaves.

I sit down on the couch in the living room. I pull out my phone and proceed to scroll through social media, barely registering the gym selfies and photos of salad I’m scrolling past. Jamie’s going to Scotland? Someone posted a photo of the beach, it’s a nice enough day for it I guess. Still cold though. Scotland's cold. Jamie’s going there. What the hell? When did she decide this? Is it because of me? Shit.

I get up and grab my keys without thinking.

***

10 minutes later, and I'm sitting in Jamie’s garage petting Benji. He was happy to see me, but he’s happy to see anyone. He has plenty of water and he hasn’t gone out through the garage door for the bathroom (I left it open for him) which tells me Jamie must have made sure he was all good before she left. Or Jay, I suppose. He’ll be taking care of Benji while she’s gone, because Joel’s off to New York and I’m no longer an option. That fucking sucks. I was an option before. But with everything that’s gone on I could hardly expect her to ask me to take care of Benji for her. She didn’t even tell me she was going away for Christ sake.

I haven’t been in here for almost two weeks. I honestly think that’s the longest period of time I’ve gone without being in Jamie’s house since the first day I ever stepped foot in here. It's weird. Everything between us is weird now, and I have no one to blame but myself. And Noah. I kinda wanna blame Noah. But I can’t, this is on me.

I look around the garage and see that everything is as it usually is. My drum kit hasn't been touched since I last touched it, obviously. The guitars are laying around like usual. Her Friends coffee cup is sitting on the counter, probably unwashed from this morning. Typical. It’s sitting next to a photo frame which contains one of my favourite pictures of the four of us. It’s part of the furniture now, so I never really think about it. I walk over to the counter and pick up the frame to get a closer look at the familiar photo. It’s from High School, not long before Joel’s parents died. I remember Erin taking the picture. Me and Joel are sitting on one of the sofas smiling, Jay is standing behind Joel, smiling too in his own moody way (probably because he was looking right at Erin when this picture was taken) and Jamie’s standing next to him behind me on the sofa, leaning forward with her arms around my neck, smiling like she was just laughing at something. I look really happy too, like I’m trying to stop myself from laughing. Jamie's hair is blue and I have less tattoos on my arms. I get a weird feeling looking at this photo, so I put it back down.

Right next to it there's another framed picture of the four of us. This one's from Middle School and it was taken by Mike barely two months after Jay introduced Joel and I to Jamie. She and Jay are sitting on the sofa in this one, with me and Joel standing behind them. We're all smiling, but we don't look quite as comfortable as we do in the High School picture. We'd gotten to know each other much better by then. Jamie's hair is naturally brown, and I have no tattoos. I can't look at this photo either.

And finally comes the most current framed picture of the four of us. I gave this one to Jamie for Christmas. I knew she'd put it here, right next to the others. This photo was taken in New York after our audition for Blue Light Records, and we all look totally happy. It's a good picture. I sigh and walk over to the couch.

I sit down and pull my phone out. I open our group chat and re-read the messages the guys sent this morning.

Joel @ The Middle, 8:57am: Have fun in Scotland, Jame. Send pics! J3 x

Jay @ The Middle, 9:23am: Yeah have a good trip, tell Helen and co we say hey.

Jamie @ The Middle, 11.17am: Thanks guys. Enjoy New York, Joel. Give love to Sarah and Erin. J2 x

I should say something, for two reasons. She’s always wanted to go to Scotland and I’m glad she’s finally doing it. I want her to know that, no matter whats went on between us, I want her to be happy. Of course I do. I want Jay and Joel to be happy too, it’s normal for friends to want their friends to be happy. I’m glad she’s gonna see her family and finally see Edinburgh. And the second reason, I want her to know that, no matter whats happened between us, I’m not gonna be weird when it comes to the band. Not replying to messages in our group chat is weird. So I will reply. No matter how I’m feeling right now or how she’s feeling, I need her to know that the band will be fine. It will be.

Me @ The Middle, 14:35pm: Hope Scotland’s awesome, maybe you’ll get to see that Penguin Parade at the zoo. Have fun. P x

I hit send quickly, not allowing myself to delete that part about the penguin parade. Or my unusual 'P x' sign off. I hope she gets this. It’s a peace offering of sorts. And it feels fitting now, in the first message I’ve sent into the group for a while.

I put my phone down because I don’t know exactly when her flight is and I don’t wanna know if she’s read the message or not. I’m not gonna obsess about it, it is what it is. She loves penguins and she’s always wanted to see that weird parade thing they do at Edinburgh zoo. I like penguins too. There’s something about them. But I’m not fucking thinking about penguins right now. No.

I wonder when Jay's gonna show up. I lay my head back on the couch as Benji jumps back up beside me, resting his head in my lap. I’ll stay here for a while, Benji could use the company. That’s the only reason.

***

I startle awake at the sound of the garage roller door going up. Jesus, how long was I asleep? Benji lifts his head up from where he's laying on the sofa next to me and starts wagging his tail as the garage door fully opens, revealing Jay.

"Oh. Hello." He's surprised to see me, obviously.

"Hey, what time is it?" I ask him as I stretch my arms out and rub my eyes. I cannot believe I fell asleep.

"Did you just wake up?" He asks as he walks over to pet Benji. "So fucking lazy."

"Right. I was tired, I guess." I reply tentatively. He was okay with me last night, but I feel like things between us are still a little delicate. Just like Joel said.

"Sure." He says dismissively, while petting Benji. "I just drove Jame to the airport. She's excited."

I nod my head, it seems I have no words.

"According to her, your talk didn't go so good. She said she's still pissed with you."

Shit. What exactly has she told him?

"Right, um... Yeah. I guess it could have been better." I say stupidly, I don't know what else to say. He nods his head.

"She'll come around." He says quietly. "I have."

I look around at him in disbelief. He's okay with me now? Like, totally okay with me?

"I'm not saying I'm totally okay with this whole youth center teaching thing, but I'm getting there." He goes on. "It's only a few months, and we aren't getting tied down with record deals or anything like that right now anyway. It's cool."

I give him a small smile, which he returns. I seriously appreciate him saying that to me. Especially given the real reason I'm taking time out from the band. He's such a good friend.

"Love you, dude." I say, and he laughs.

"Yeah, yeah. Maybe you should try saying that to the other Jamie every now and again." I cough. "That way she wouldn't be so pissed with you right now."

"Right." I reply sheepishly.

"You wanna jam?" He raises his eyebrows at me. "It's been a while?"

It has been a while. I get to my feet and turn to face my drum kit.

"Let's do it."