Joe's POV
'So, erm, t-that was..that.' I stuttered, recovering from the kiss.
Troye coughed. 'Sorry about that, I had to do it..'
I didn't quite know what to do, this was kindof awkward.
'So....' I started, playing with my cup nervously.
'Did you..like the kiss? I mean, if you did we could like, try u-us out?' Troye mumbled, smiling and blushing all at the same time.
Did I like the kiss?
I mean yeah, it was nice.
But could I be in a relationship with Troye?
'I, I liked the kiss man, I just think like what happens to the group you know? If we were together?' I wandered out loud.
'Well..nothing right? I mean people would be fine with it I guess?' Troye assumed.
'I mean if we break up or if someone doesn't like it? Something.' I kept trying to find reasons to not do this, I don't know why. I just was.
'Well..I, I. I never thought that far ahead Joe, I mean we could just try it out? It'd be fine.' Troye assured me.
Maybe this isn't a great idea.
But why the fuck nottttt.
'Okay. Okay, let's do it.' I blurted out before I changed my mind.
Because dating my friend is not always a good idea but..okay.
Caspar's POV
I'm going to tell Joe.
Today.
Right now.
Oh shit.
I heard Joe shut the front door and slip his shoes off.
'Joe?!' I shouted loud enough for him to hear.
'Yes Casp?' He replied, walking into the room.
'Can I talk to you? It's kindof important.' I blurted out before I got to nervous.
'Er sure mate I need to tell you something too, what's up?' He asked with a grin on his face, throwing himself onto the sofa next to me.
'Oh, do you want to go first?' I offered, slowly starting panic.
'Okaaaay...so, I have a boyfriend.' He admitted, blushing a little.
The panic I had felt began to slowly creepy up my throat, constricting me, preventing me from breathing.
'Caspar?' Joe called, waving his hand in front of my face.
'I, I, erm wow that's great..just great Joe. Who is the lucky guy?' I asked nervously, clutching a handful of my hair.
'Its..Troye. It's Troye, Caspar.' He answered truthfully.
The panic had reached my brain, it felt numb. I couldn't hear anything, I could see Joe's mouth moving and him looking worried. What was happening?
My hands had pins and needles and I just couldn't...couldn't do anything.
I just sat there, not able to move with tears running down my face.
-------------------------
After about 15 minutes I had calmed down, Joe was freaked out and so was I, that was one of the most terrifying things that's ever happened to me.
'I think it was a panic attack Caspar..' Joe said, bringing me a glass of water.
'Maybe, probably. It felt like it Joe.' I admitted.
'You should talk to Zoe about it? She'd know, she could help? Why did it happen Caspar?' He questioned me.
'I, I, erm it's nothing.' I lied, rubbing my hands together.
'Its not nothing Caspar..you didn't tell me what you wanted to say earlier? Was that what it was all about?' Joe guessed, assuming he was correct.
'I can't. I can't it's..how do I tell you now? After..' I trailed off, thinking I've said too much.
'Come on Casp it's going to be okay, you know you can trust me man!' Joe pleaded with me, looking into my eyes.
'Joe I'm gay. I'm fucking gay okay and I just..and I like..yo-no one. Joe I just, FUCK.' I shouted at him, I don't know why I was taking my anger out on him I thought to myself as I stormed off and shut myself in my room.
