ace rants

Tbh this is probably the most on brand chapter so far for my book title

So I was in the library with two of my friends, and we were talking, and it came up that one of my friends is a koreaboo (That's what we call people who like k pop because it's like weaboo, but koreaboo). Ok I'm gonna give them names. Avery's a Koreaboo, Harold's the other one.

So Avery was showing us some Kpop guys and we're pretty close, so I'd seen her talk about them a lot, and I wasn't that interested, but I didn't have much else to do, so I just kind of listened and added a few comments. And then Harold (I named him Harold because I'm mad at him) says, "You know what the problem is with them? They're all acting like doms, but they're twinks." 

So that made me uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything because I figured they'd change topics, but they kept looking for 'dom-looking' k-pop stars and how Harold liked doms or something, and I was REALLY uncomfortable. I was also just having a bad day, so that made everything make me feel even more disgusted, so at one point, I was like, "this is such a fun conversation! How about we change the topic, hmm?" 

AND THIS ASSHOLE (Harold) GOES, "Oh my god fuck off with your ace vibes." 

WHAT????????

I say 'vibes' a lot, but never in relation to asexuality, and what?? I'm not asking you to stop because I want to feel wike a weal asectuwal. I'm asking you to stop because I'm really uncomfortable. Also, I'm not really out to my school, and there was another kid near us that I'm not really close to, so now that kid knows I'm ace, and who knows who he's gonna tell.

So then I asked them to switch the subject again a few minutes later and he did the same thing.  I'd have left then if I had any other friends to talk to, but we were there during a canceled class, so all my other friends were in class.

So they're not stopping and I couldn't leave or tune it out for some reason, so I put my hands over my ears, and then FUCKING HAROLD SAYS, "You know what Rose? I've been having a bad day, so fucking stop with the ace vibes stuff."

FIRST OF ALL, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Also, even besides Harold, my day had been complete shit, and he'd been being annoying all day too, so I hadn't even wanted to library with him, but I'm a nice fucking person, and didn't say that to his face.

And then he hits me up with that "My day was bad, and the world centers around me ig because I don't have to give a shit about what I say. Just stop being uncomfortable. You make everything so difficult."

And I know if I confront him about it later, he'll apologize and be like "Sorry, I was having a bad day, I didn't mean it."

But I honestly don't care because if he had had basic decency, I wouldn't have sat through the next class wanting to go to the bathroom and cry because I was so uncomfortable. On a side note, why did that make me want to cry??

But he also turned it so it seemed like I was the selfish one for not letting him express himself I guess, so that's also hella fucking annoying because for all I know he's gonna become one of those ignorant aphobes who think all we think about is ourselves. 

AND WANT TO KNOW WHAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE? Do you remember that chapter I wrote about the kid who made me feel actually happy for once to come out. The one that got super excited? That was Harold. Why was he excited then? Because he found another LGBTQ+ kid at our school. So I feel like he's acting like the fact that I'm asexual is just a road block, and it's annoying how he's so ready to support the LGBTQ+ community, but not the people in it.

AND ALSO he's complained to me multiple times about how he doesn't have friends. And I'm just kind of like,,,, well maybe more people would like you if you didn't make everything about yourself

When I met him last year, he was so nice and kind and stuff, and now his whole personality has basically turned into a SJW. He brings race, gender, sexuality, or literally any sort of minority he can into conversations. He makes fun of white kids for their Spanish accents, which I mean is fair but he doesn't have to shoe it in people's faces that his mom's from Chili everyday. He's never even been, and he's in the same Spanish class as the rest of them, so it's not like he's anything better.

Anyway I'm legitimately pissed at him and I have no resolve whatsoever, so I'll probably end up forgiving him, and he'll think he can keep acting like this, and I can't avoid him because I have two classes with him everyday, and I sit next to him in one, and all my close friends are friends with him.

And if I do get mad, he'll just make himself the victim anyway because hE's A lAtInO hOmOsExUaL aNd I'm A cIs WhItE gIrL (He's cis too, but he conveniently forgets that), so I'm just discriminating.