Before You Go

chapter forty-eight

Silently, I breathe a sigh of relief, hoping that he'll be able to get here within the next twelve hours. A flight from New Brunswick to Vancouver usually averages in at around eight hours or so if there is no layover time. I know because after the night Leon left me, there were many nights where I looked up how much it would be to just show up at his place and question why he left me.

I'm starting to wish I had.

"Eliza," Tenille says, taking my hand. "You should sit down. You're shaking. Maybe I can get you a coffee, too."

I shake my head. "No coffee, thanks. But I will sit down."

Tenille and I walk over to the far side of the waiting room and sit down on a bench. It's metal and the coldness seeps through my damp jeans, causing me to shiver. Tenille seems to notice because she wraps her arm around me. I rest my head against her shoulder, thanking the world that I have someone like Tenille as my best friend. She the sister I never had. 

"How bad was it?" she whispers. "God, I'm so sorry that you had to find the accident."

I close my eyes, replaying the scene in my head. I feel terrible for not caring about the other two people involved, but that's just what happens when someone you love is involved. All you can focus on is them. "Leon didn't look too bad," I whisper. "He did have a gash on his brow and a serious case of road rash, but other than that, he looked fine. Which worries me. I almost would have preferred more blood, Tenille. That way, I would have been able to see what was wrong with him."

"You never know," she replies. "Maybe he got lucky and there isn't too much internal damage. Maybe he just has a severe concussion."

I pinch the bridge of my nose, wishing we could speed up time and find out the outcome. I hate that I have no knowledge of what's going on behind those doors or the condition Leon's in. I hate that my whole world is on a thin line, barely balanced between staying balanced and falling to the wayside.

"I can't lose him, Ten," I choke. "He's all I've got."

Tenille pulls me closer as I begin to sob again. I'm thankful she knows what I mean. I still have her and Kit and several other friends, but Leon is the only person I have that can fundamentally understand what life is like with my parents, who I am and what I stand for. He's the only person that truly understands me.

"Nathan's gettin' on the next flight out of New Brunswick," Kit says.

His voice causes me to jump – I didn't see him re-enter the building – and open my eyes. He looks stressed, almost like he's aged fifteen years since the last time I saw him.

"Is he okay?" Tenille asks.

"Shocked," Kit says, sitting down beside me. He rests his face in his hands, exhaling deeply. "Just like the rest of us."

The three of us succumb to the silence in the air between us. I can only imagine what the other two are thinking about as they sit next to me, but one thing I can guarantee is that their thoughts are solely focused on Leon.

I close my eyes again, breathing in Tenille's familiar apple smell. She's worn the same perfume all her life and it's comforting to smell something familiar rather than pinching and vomit-inducing like the antiseptic smell.

"It's going to be okay, Eliza," Tenille whispers.

But even in her powerful voice, I can hear the hint of doubt.

My heart begins to fold in on itself.

If I lose Leon, I don't think I'll ever be able to recover from it.

* * *

Hours later, six at the least, someone gently shakes me awake. I blink, my unparalleled view of the hospital slowly coming into focus. My eyes feel as though they've been filled with sand, but it doesn't take me long to realize I'm lying on the bench, using Kit's suit jacket as a pillow.