The Middle - Volume Three ✔️

Chapter 4

"Aren't you gonna reply to him?"

"What's the point? He'll be asleep now."

I turn to face the kitchen counter, I'm struggling with this whole not looking Patrick in the eye thing. And I'm pissed that he's wearing a beanie. He looks far too cute like that. I move my hand up to remove my own beanie, but I pause. I'm wearing his headband underneath. After he stormed off with it earlier then brought it back. And I'm wearing his hoodie underneath my coat. He'll think I'm a total nutcase if he sees.

"Are you okay?" He asks from behind me.

I swallow hard, then turn to face him. I wear his hoodie and his headband all the time. This isn't that weird.

I take off my woolly hat, then unbutton my jacket and shrug out of it. I make no move to remove my scarf, these hickeys are staying hidden. But he knows they're there. He doesn't say anything as I walk past him to put my hat and jacket in the coat closet in the hall. When I return, he's leaning back against the kitchen table studying me. He seems a little more at ease now. I wish I could say the same for myself.

"What?" I snap, as I quickly walk past him towards the refrigerator. My mouth is suddenly really dry, I need some water.

"You're wearing my hoodie. And that headband." He states.

I rummage around in the fridge for a bottle of water, "10 points for Patrick, outstanding observation skills".

He laughs, but it's short and forced. This is starting to get a little unbearable, and I hate it. We really have completely fucked up our relationship, haven't we?

"When I came back over to give you them back, you weren't home." He says. "I wasn't trying to hurt you by wearing them earlier, I swear. I just didn't wanna walk home in a fucking tux."

"Sure." I say, taking a bottle of water out of the fridge. I consider offering him one, but he always helps himself to whatever he wants out of my fridge. I shouldn't need to offer now.

I turn to face him, just as he says, "Okay, this is far too fucking awkward. We need to sort it out right now." He pulls his beanie off and shakes his hair out a little, before folding his arms and finally looking me in the eye.

As far as I'm concerned, this is his fault. Okay, I begged him to kiss me at midnight. And okay, I leaned into him again after he told me he met the right girl six years ago. It was a line, and it worked. He shouldn't have said that to me. He wants to sort this out? Fine, I'm interested to hear his plan. 

"So how do you propose we sort it out?" I take a drink of water. Much better.

"We just forget about it and move on and act normal." His eyes meet mine.

I slowly bring the water bottle down from my lips. He wants to forget about it and act normal? As if nothing ever happened? That asshole. He thinks he can use me like that. Me? I'm not like the other girls, I'm his best fucking friend for fuck sake. I come first, how many time has he told me that? I'm gonna freak out.

"Before you freak out," he says, holding his hands up in mock surrender. He knows me so well. "Let me explain."

He takes a deep breath. "I don't wanna act like nothing happened because I'm a dick and that's what I usually do with girls. I know that's what you're thinking. You're different, you know you are. Jamie comes first, always. What happened... Should never have happened. So that's what I want. I want us to go forward like we were before. Let's rewind to before the ball dropped on New Year's Eve, and take things from there. Best friends. Band mates. What do you say?"

I consider this, and I know he's right. It's the easiest option for everyone. On paper. But will it be easy? I'm not so sure.

"So you think you can just forget about it and act like you usually do around me?" I ask. I'm genuinely interested in the answer to this question.