when i'm gone

preciousness

billie and i scootered out into a small room that had a line of fans going out the door waiting to get a hug and picture with their idol. i bet they weren't expecting me. screams echoed around and rung in my ears. "helloooo!" billie cried out in a baby girl voice. i waved at them all. they screamed billie and cried willow. woah. they like me, too! we shut off the scooters and maggie came over to us and got us a perfect spot to stand and take pictures. i decided i wouldn't be in the pictures, i'd just give them a hug as they were walking out. if they even wanted one. the first girl went with short pink hair and tan skin.

she was smiling so much and handed her phone to maggie. her and billie talked for less than a minute and then she snuggled her head under billie's neck and smiled for the picture. billie said her goodbyes and awaited the next person. the girl ran up to me and gave me a tight squeeze. "you're so pretty! i'm so jealous you're dating billie," she clasped her hands together. "aww! that means so much. you are actually stunning. awesome hair!" she took a selfie with me then went on her way. it continued on like this with about 20 other fans. there was one more and it was a little girl, maybe 12 or 13, and she looked just like me. she shyly walked up to billie's welcoming arms and started crying once they touched.

billie looked at me with puppy dog eyes, as if saying she's too precious. the little girl wouldn't stop crying. billie placed her hand in hers, taking me back to the first time we had ever met at disneyland and how she guided me to my soon to be second family. i watched in awe. i'm so lucky i'm able to watch people cry of happiness because of my girlfriend. "listen to me, its ok. i'm here with you now and i will always love you. ok? don't cry, it's ok!" billie hugged her one last time and they took pictures. she walked up to me and cried again. i glanced sideways and saw billie watching me as if she were watching a puppy roll over. i hugged the little girl so tight. "what's your name?" i asked her. "j-jasmine..." she sniffled.

such a pretty name. i rubbed the back of her head and then told her, "billie said you're her favorite fan! shh, it's a secret." her eyes lit up and a smile stitched it's way over her cheeks. we took a picture together and i hugged her tight one last time. i walked over to billie. finally i had her to myself. "let's get back to the green room," she yawned. i followed behind her on the scooter. she got off once we reached the lounge area and went into a room marked "billie". she stood in front of a lit up mirror and began vocal warm ups. her voice sometimes couldn't hit a very high note, i suspected from her exhaustion. i drank from a water bottle, watching her sweetly. she did a few pushups and mumbled to herself, "wake up, billie."

finneas came in from his own room and was wearing a white shirt and white pants and a black strappy thing on his back. his hair was gelled up and he was rolling his shoulders. "we're on in 10," he grinned excitedly. a few women powdered billie's face, making her skin turn to porcelain. maggie sat beside me as billie started eating out of a bag of takis. "ready to see them rock it?" she crossed her legs and put all of her attention on me. i rest my chin in the palm of my hand. "so ready! they're gonna do awesome!" maggie chuckled, "you're too cute. i love you, willow. you're like a daughter to me. i want you to know i'm always here for you if you ever need to talk about anything. i know this touring life is a lot and with billie away it must be hard for you. i know it hard for her, too..." maggie exhaled, and in my mind and was so happy to hear it, "she blabbers on about you constantly when you're not around. 'she's so pretty', 'what gift would she like?', 'how many more days till we're home?', that sort of thing. finneas adores you, too. he misses you always. i know billie's a handful, too. if you ever need to say something to anyone, i'm here."

my heart screamed. i got up and found a comfortable spot next to maggie in her small chair and hugged her so tight i thought she stopped breathing. "thank you so much. you are like my mom. honestly there is something that i-", i couldn't finish. billie had turned around and rolled her blue eyes, "why don't you two get a room?" maggie slapped the arm of the chair, "oh, billie, stop that!" i laughed with billie then got up. "later," maggie winked at me. i nodded.