Lights Out • 1 • Formula One ✔️

Chapter 116

Lando stayed true to his promise. The first thing he did when he saw me standing, waiting for him in the lobby of the hotel, was drop his bags at his feet and wrap me into a tight hug. He didn't say anything, only held me close to his chest and allowed the flood of emotions to escape like a burst dam. The tips of my slender fingers gripped onto the thin material of his shirt as if my life depended on it. His subtle cologne brought a sense of comfort and familiarity. Whilst my entire chest burned with pain, I knew that Lando would stay with me for as long as I needed him to comfort me. He was completely selfless through everything we had been through and I was glad to have the privilege of calling him a friend.

Although he hadn't experienced personal grief on this level before, Lando tried his hardest to sympathise with my current situation. He listened to me ramble on for hours on the journey to Silverstone about memories of my mum, stories that managed to make me smile and cry at the same time. Lando had met my mum on two occasions when she had visited the British Grand Prix when I raced in Formula Two. She had expected us two to end up together at some point which, at the time, seemed impossible. In hindsight, she was right. Although we're better off as friends, there's no denying the chemistry Lando and I share which empowers our friendship. I don't know what I would do without him sometimes.

A part of me felt a sense of relief on the journey home. Whilst there was still the underlying sadness that I doubt would leave anytime soon, knowing that I had fulfilled her wish made me feel a little lighter. It was the only and final chance that I got at saying goodbye even if she wasn't there to hear me say it. I vowed to honour her memory this weekend. I'm going to make her proud.

"Thank you," I said, voice hoarse from all the crying I had been doing all day. It was the early hours of the morning and Lando and I were waiting in the airport to board our plane. My head was resting against his shoulder and the hood of my jumper was pulled high up to cover my face for comfort. Lando had his hood in a similar way, however his was mostly for privacy reasons.

"You know I'll always be there when you need me, Lys," he mumbled in reply, his arm that was wrapped around my shoulder tightening in a hug. "Even if that means ignoring everyone else just to make sure you're okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he reassured, "It's nice being able to ignore phone calls and texts and not feel guilty about it, however I'll never send my mum to voicemail or she'll send out a search team."

I managed a short chuckle. "Mine was the same." It felt so foreign to be using the past tense, but I was glad to be talking about her. My dad was a very taboo subject when he died for the longest time so its a relief that I don't feel like I'm about to break down again. "Gosh, if I was five minutes late coming home..."

"Oh, I never arrived home late. She scares me when she gets protective," Lando said with complete seriousness. "She text me saying if I don't look after you, she'll switch her allegiance to George Russell. I swear that woman loves you more than me sometimes."

"Your mum is so sweet." I couldn't help but smile. "She also gives some of the best hugs, which I'm so glad you inherited or else I'd phone her up instead."

"Good to know that you're only friends with me for the hugs," he joked.

"Of course," I mumbled, inhaling deeply and closing my eyes in peace. His body heat made me feel comfort and safe. We stayed in our close embrace right up until the call that boarding was open for our flight which came a little after three am.

For the ten and a half hour flight, Lando and I stayed close. The arm rest that separated our seats from each other was lifted very earlier on which allowed for me to rest my head on his shoulder, and then his head rested on top of mine. There was no romance of any kind between us, despite what some of the crew assumed ("honeymoon?"). I had to turn down the glass of champagne despite needing a drink badly because of the fact that I'd be getting into a Formula One car tomorrow morning and couldn't guarantee that every ounce of alcohol would leave my system. Mostly it was because Lando said no, and ordered me a cup of tea instead.