Lights Out • 1 • Formula One ✔️

Chapter 109

A little early to make up for the fact there won't be an update until next Sunday... sorry!

The room fell into a thick silence. The four boys' mouths were hung partly open and their eyes were wide. I inhaled deeply, closing my eyes on the exhale and covering my face with my hands. I didn't care about my makeup anymore. It was hard to tell whether I should speak first or let one of the guys finally say something. I can't believe I let Max and Lando rial me up to the point where I just told spilled. Would they say something to Charles when he returns? Or would they be understanding of my situation?

Max was the one I was most concerned for the reaction of. Part of the reason why I couldn't tell Charles my true feelings was because a part of me was still clinging on to what we used to have. I wanted nothing more than to get rid of these feelings but they're impossible to get away by choice. My history with Max is incomparable.

My eyes immediately went to Max when I finally, but hesitantly, brought my hands away from my face. His expression was unreadable, however his lips were still slightly parted in what I assumed to be surprise.

I swallowed hard and clenched my jaw before looking at Lando. "You see why I didn't want to tell you? It's personal."

"I-I'm sorry, Lys. I think we all assumed that you guys had said it to each other already and I- I wouldn't have thought it'd be that big of a deal." Both Giuli and Mick nodded in agreement with Lando whereas Max continued to stand with his arms tightly folded across his chest.

"He said that I shouldn't feel pressured but then this morning he was asking all of these questions about-" I paused, eyes briefly snapping between Max and Lando, "about these things and then I didn't leave on good terms to go to the meeting. I'm sorry if he... if things were taken out on you guys. I should've just said it to put him at ease."

"No, not if you aren't ready," Lando said, shaking his head. "If he wants to act like a baby about all of this and take it out on us, then that's just Charles." He took a step forward and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side whilst rubbing my arm gently.

"But the problem is I do." I swallowed the lump that was at the back of my throat and let out a shaky breath. "I love him, but I just- gosh, I shouldn't be confessing these things to you guys when I should be telling Charles. I must sound so stupid."

"What's stopping you then?" Mick stood up and made his way over to me. He appeared on my other side and allowed me to rest my head on him instead.

My eyes landed on Max he seemed to be fixated on the drink in his hand. I then looked up to Mick who gave me a knowing look. "Just... stuff."

"That's why I enjoy my single life - much less complicated." He squeezed my side and smiled.

"I agree!" Giuli dramatically rose from the chair. "Too much drama in a relationship."

"Yeah, you certainly don't need more of that." I forced a chuckle after I spoke and I made eye contact with Giuli. "Keeping things casual is the easiest way to have a relationship."

"Oh, yeah, because things with us were so easy," Lando sarcastically rolled his eyes however had a smile on his face so I knew there were no grudges.

I felt somewhat relieved when the topic of conversation began to drift away from my confession. After exhaling, I furrowed my eyebrows. "Uh, excuse you, but we're still friends," I pointed out.

Before Lando could reply, Giuli let out a bellow of a laugh. "I just realised that you've slept with half of the people in this room."

"Oh, piss off."