Her Knight

I feel like I'm drowning

"Amy I have known you for over a year now do you not think I know that you are always late. I planned ahead, we don't have to be there till 2 I just said 1 because I knew you would be late" I sign to her, she just looks at me relieved and finally relaxes her body.

"I would be mad, but that was a genius move. By the way what happened to your eye?" Amy asks me confused.

"it was from last night, I think someone punched me in the club. Now come on, what are you still looking for?" I reply to her. We continue to pack things up for the next 20 minutes, putting what she needs soon in her suitcase and everything else in boxes. With the help of Kate, we carry everything down to the car and put it in the trunk. I let Amy and Kate say goodbye to each other while I wait in the car. While I'm waiting a bunch of people stop and start staring at my car, whispering to their friends. I don't think much of it until someone taps on my window, I roll it down and there's a girl standing with a pad and pen.

"Hi, I'm sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could get your signature?" The girls asks me shyly, I look at her confused. Why would she want my autograph? I don't dwell on it too much and just nod my head grabbing the pen and pad and writing my name on it. I hand it back and she's got the biggest smile on her face.

"Thank you! I'm a huge fan" She says before running back to her friends. A few seconds later Amy hops into the car, her eyes a little red and puffy from crying.

"You okay?" I ask her, putting my hand on her knee for comfort, she turns to me nodding her head but doesn't say a word. I don't push her and just drive to the airport. Amy falls asleep pretty soon into the car ride so I plug my phone in and play a song quietly. I listen to the first verse, just humming along to the tune.

Dirty tissues, trust issues
Glasses on the sink, they didn't fix you
Lonely pillows in a strangers bed
Little voices in my head
Secret keeping, stop the bleeding
Lost a little weight because I wasn't eating
All the songs that I can't listen to, to tell the truth

I start quietly singing this part, my voice getting used to being used.

Loving you was young, and wild, and free
Loving you was cool, and hot, and sweet
Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound
A steady place to let down my defenses
But loving you had consequences

Hesitation, awkward conversation
Running on low expectation
Every siren that I was ignoring
I'm payin' for it

Loving you was young, and wild, and free
Loving you was cool, and hot, and sweet
Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound
A steady place to let down my defenses
But loving you had consequences

No, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Said, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Hey, no ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Loving you was dumb, dark and cheap
Loving you will still take shots at me
Found loving you was sunshine, but then it poured
And I lost so much more than my senses
'Cause loving you had consequences

I finish singing the song, letting myself feel free and relieved. It's weird how I can perfectly sing yet can't form a sentence without stuttering. I remember reading up about this guy with Tourettes and how when he sang it all went away, as I little kid I used to love singing, I used to put on shows for my parents and brother.

When I got in the accident and I couldn't speak, I really missed being able to express my emotions through lyrics. I still played my guitar and wrote a couple of songs but it was never the same. It was only recently I discovered this guy and I thought I should just try it out. The first time it was awful I was a stuttering mess but that was because I was so focused on trying not to, that I was. It wasn't until I was in the shower and one of my favourite songs came on, I just started singing and I didn't realise I had basically sung the whole song until it finished.