Rise of the Warrior of Everfen

Chapter 58: War is Coming

"I know, and I try. You don't understand how hard it is, living with the knowledge..."

He drifted off and shut his eyes and she realized where his thoughts were going. "How hard it is when humans killed your parents? How about the fact that orcs killed mine?"

"I killed your parents."

"You were a different orc then." He scoffed at her words and she cocked her head sideways. "Do you think this is easy? Remembering who killed them? Separating that reality with this one? Why can I do it but you can't? You blame every human for your parents."

"Is that what this is really about? My parents? I stood by and let Gussten execute those men for vengeance for my parents? Do you not see that it took everything I had not to risk all our lives and murder him right then for threatening our family?"

"Have you given me much reason to think otherwise?" She demanded more harshly than she intended, but a fresh wave of tears fell down her face. "Until we got home and you spilled everything to Lohke, how was I to know you had any opinion on the matter at all?"

"How am I supposed to tell you that when you won't speak to me?" He demanded just as harsh. She stared at him as the cold truth filtered around them and she sighed, disheartened, and turned away, laying back down. He growled behind her and rolled her back to face him more easily than she would have liked. "You're not turning your back on me."

"Stop it, I'm going back to sleep." She tried to roll back but he pinned her down by her wrists and she glared up at him, but there was no force to her glare.

"I'll stop making rude remarks about humans."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. You're right, Andol is half human, I don't want him to think I hate him by what I say in regards to humans. I don't want him to think I hate you."

"Good. Thank you. Good night." She attempted to roll but he kept her pinned. "What?"

"I'm sorry." She stared at him, not believing his words so she stayed silent and he continued, "I've spoken my peace on the matter, I don't know what else I can say to you except for that. I was scared for you and Andol, the archers could've shot us all down, so yes, I let the execution happen without a word." He sighed gruffly when she didn't accept his apology. "Would you really have me continue to raise my voice to Chief Gussten when he had archers pointed at our son and you?"

That question, delivered with sincerity, made her forgoe her silence. "All I wanted was to feel your support. I made it clear to them, Cold Hammer, that they shouldn't be doing what they were doing. You stood there silently and when I asked you if you would do anything, you turned your anger on me. I thought that meant you agreed with them." She'd said as much a few days ago when they argued in the forest, but she hoped it meant something to him now.

"We can't take it back now, Erinne, we have to live with this. Whatever the consequences, but in the future, I'll do better by our son. I'll recite Lohke's laws." In the future, as if he expected this to happen again and truly? He wasn't wrong. They had their prophecies, war would come again. This was where they'd always be, stuck in the middle, because they'd chosen this family. "For you and our son."

Not for himself. His words were clear. He still hated the humans, just not her and their son. He tread a very thin line that could break on him one day. She pressed her lips together in a thin line, a hard lump in her throat that didn't want to go away. His eyes were earnest as he gazed down at her. "I was scared, too." She whispered softly, "But I'm scared of the future, now more than ever."

He didn't look satisfied with her answer, he looked troubled, but he dipped down and claimed her lips and she closed her eyes, savoring his body against her, savoring the taste of him. "I am, too." He admitted, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I'm sorry for what I said in the woods. It was the worst thing I could've ever said to you, I never should have dragged the prophecy into this." She didn't have to clarify which one she meant, he knew she meant that he was one hammer swing away from destroying it all again, but in truth, she was dragging two prophecies into this. The second one being that she would lose her son. It wasn't fair for Cold Hammer that she argued with him over something he didn't even know about. He was doing everything he knew to do to keep her and Andol safe.

After a long moment, he gathered her in his arms, just holding her, breathing as she breathed, their hearts beating as one. "There is one thing worse you could have said to me." He murmured.

"Oh, is that supposed to make me feel better?"

He chuckled without mirth, "If you said you no longer loved me."

She tilted her head back to look up at him and laid her hand on his cheek. She would never... "I will always love you." Her words hung in the air, the silence filling the cabin and he held her gaze for many minutes before he leaned his cheek into her hand. "Could we have done better, Cold Hammer? Could we have somehow stopped Chief Gussten?"

He sighed heavily, "I don't think we could have. He was prepared for us to fight back. He entrapped us. Cornered us." She fell silent, debating on that and he rested his chin on top of her head. "Does it make you feel better to think that, no matter what action we took, this would've still happened?"

"No. It makes me more fearful of the future than I was a moment ago. The war is coming. No matter what we do."

"I love you. Whatever happens, you have to know that."

"I do know that, and I love you, too."

He continued to hold her in his arms and they sat in silence, neither sleeping, neither talking. She hoped they could work towards fully forgiving each other, but she knew the hurts in their hearts came from a place of love and caring. They'd both been scared, and fear made people rash and stupid, including herself. One thing was certain, she needed him by her side in whatever war was to come, and their son needed them as a united front.