When Silver Met Gold

Chapter 24 - We're Going Home

My conscious was striking me with hunters to get up and offer the Fajr Namaz. I was not able to get up. I never understood when people said they felt nothing. Today I knew why they said they felt nothing.

It was the effect of my conscious or I was suffocated but I got up. I went to the attached bathroom and did wudhu. I didn't see my face in the huge mirror above the sink. I knew a girl would be laughing and mocking me. I didn't dare to look at her. I couldn't bear anything now that I bore this.

I found the praying rug on the table in the room. I offered Namaz, I sat there empty-minded, not talking to Allah. I stared blankly at the floral design on the rug and moved my finger along with it.

"I don't trust anyone anymore," I heard myself saying. "I don't have anywhere to go. I feel homeless. I feel I am a little girl who has been lost in the carnival. I am searching for my mother, crying and scared of strangers. I cannot find my mother Allah! I have no one. I have no one." I covered my face with my hands. "I have no one. I'm left alone. I have only you. I have only you Allah! I can only talk to you. I can only tell you how I feel. Please don't leave me alone. Please don't let me get betrayed again. Please don't let me get hurt." My hands were wet with tears and my nose was running.

I stood up, folding the rug. I needed to get out of here. I needed to go to my mother's house. I needed to go anywhere away from everyone, I was related to. I took my phone from the bed. It was on silent mode. I looked at the phone screen. I had five missed calls from Aaliyan. I jerked my head and put the phone in my pocket.

I got out of the room and tiptoed to the main door. I was opening it when I heard someone call my name, "Musca."

I turned around. It was Uncle Mubashir, smiling, "What are you doing here?"

I couldn't comprehend what I felt for him at that time but I sure knew I wouldn't be happy seeing him like I used to.

"I spent a night here, Aaliyan brought me here." I sounded like a robot, emotionless.

"Aaliyan?" he had a shocked expression on his face.

"I don't know about his whereabouts," I said and opened the door, exiting.

He called my name again, stopping me."Have Aaliyan..."

I was fast to say, "I know everything."

"I see," he was as expressionless as I was. "I received a call last night; they tried to call you before me. Aaliyan is in the hospital, he got into an accident, he is..."

"I don't care." I cut him off, stressing each word. "I don't care. I need to go."

Outside I asked uncle Mubashir's chauffeur to drive me home who was standing near uncle's car on the porch.

The entire drive, the world around me was spinning. It was getting smaller and smaller with each passing second, suffocating me. I stared at the road with empty eyes, my mind in a blurry haze. An invisible force pounded hammers on my head, breaking my skull, breaking my strength.

The knot in my stomach was whispering and shouting at me. A tornado was going to blow me away with it. I waited for it. Feeling myself going into a darker haze, my eyes closed but I gave all my strength to keep them from shutting.

Aaliyan got into an accident...

Every time the cruel words rang in my head. I fought with myself not to ask the chauffeur to turn his car to the hospital Aaliyan was admitted into. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know what to do.

In the end, my heart won and my mind lost. The car stopped in front of a hospital. The receptionist told me the room number but I didn't want the room number I wanted him to be okay.