Ineffable parents [Hiatus]

Baby Swap Gone Wrong pt.2

Okay, before you read... So here's the thing. I find Hastur and Ligur quite a funny duo. And I keep thinking, "what if, instead of being hateful towards Crowley, they were this support system Crowley has in Hell. Like, they're the only friends he actually has in Hell? And Hastur and Ligur knows how whipped Crowley is for Zira. And they know about baby Adam. And are like the supportive, weird uncles who babysit when either of the two go on official business? And Gabriel is a bit less of an asshole (cause in the Catholic faith, he is, indeed, not an asshole), and is willing to help out Aziraphale, but he doesn't know that Zira is working alongside Crowley.

"Here you go, love. A nice little bottle before bed time."

Aziraphale beams at the little 5-month-old with golden locks and blue eyes.

The baby gurgles an squeals st the sight of the bottle in the angel's hand.

Crowley had been gone for a week, and will be gone for three more. He needed to spy on the American Ambassador and their child, Warlock, who is believed to be the Antichrist.

Aziraphale puts on a record, Beethoven begins playing and he sways along slowly, Adam cradled in his arms. He smiles as Adam takes the bottle, filling his little tummy.

"My, you're quite an eater, aren't you, love?"

Adam simply stares up at his...guardian? Parent?

"Your father's gone for a little while, and you'll be stuck with me for a bit. Hope you don't mind."

Aziraphale smiles as Adam gurgles happily.

RIIIIIING!!!! RIIIIIIING!!!!

The angel settles Adam in the crib and turns around, heading towards the phone.

"Hello?"

"How's Adam?"

"Oh! Crowley, it's you. Well. Um. He's feeding right now. How are you? I mean, the assignment?"

"Oh good. Yeah, keeping an eye on the boy. Nothing suspicious yet."

"Yes, well, jolly good, I suppose."

"I have to go. They believe I'm a member of security and I'd hate to ruin my cover."

"Right then. Come back soon. Adam misses you."

I miss you.

Aziraphale's eyes bulge at his thoughts. Do I? Well, I suppose so. He is my friend after all, yes, that's it. Or, well, not really. I mean, we have an arrangement and--

"-llo? You there? Angel?"

"Oh! Um yes, sorry. Have a nice evening, Crowley, goodbye!"

The angel rushes and hangs up.

Meanwhile, Crowley looked at the phone, confused at the sudden exchange.

"Meh."

He shrugs and walks back into his rented quarters.

"Your girlfriend?"

An American agent teases as he entered the room. Crowley chuckles.

"Not quite."

"Come on, Adam. Say it. Da-da. Daaaa-"

Adam gurgles back at Crowley. Spit coming out his 8-month-old mouth, Adam smiles up at his, somewhat, adopted father.

Crowley sighs.

"We'll try again later. Bathtime."

He carries the infant into the bathroom and settles him into the the baby tub. It was nearly lunch and he had planned to take out some lunch for Aziraphale and he. Being seen in public with a child, and an angel, could get him into trouble.