Ineffable parents [Hiatus]

Baby Swap Gone Wrong pt. 1

Crowley cursed at heaven and he cursed at hell as he drove to the convent. Head office had just come on the radio, and it did not make him feel any better.

Getting out of his Bentley, a man stood at the porch, fear and anxiety rolling iff of him in waves, but the demon didn't care and pressed on, recieving all the information he needed from the man. He growled and grumbled, but he knew it wasn't the baby's fault. This has been planned for millenia after millenia.

Sighing, he stopped at the hallway and took a small peak at Hell's spawn. The baby boy looked up at Crowley, eyes innocent and curious. After checking for eavesdroppers, he takes the baby out and inspects him.

"Tch. Look at you, about to end the world. About to wreak havoc wherever you rule. In eleven years, will you still remember the demon that took you here?"

Crowley put him back into the basket, suddenly feeling rather silly.

"Hope you don't."

He walked on and saw a nun walk past, holding a tin of biscuits.

"Oi."

He called out and handed the Adversary over.

"Take him up to room three."

Sister Mary Luquoacious cooed and tickled her young master's belly as if he wasn't the son of Satan himself.

Crowley stepped out into the balcony, and overheard a conversation among the nuns.

"Where does the child go after the swap, Sister Agnes?"

"He is to be disposed of. Giving him away will complicate things."

"Of course, of course."

The demon stopped dead in his tracks. They can't do that to a kid. The kid was innocent in all this. He growled and walked back into the hospital, and awaited the switch in the records building, where they planned on disposing the extra child. A few hours passed and he heard wailing, and he knew the switch was happening.

Then he heard it. The child's curious whimpers, the basinet's squeaky wheels all headed towards him. Miracling the wicker basket back to his hand, he freezes the nuns in their tracks, and takes whoever baby was in the small baby bed.

Sauntering out the records building, he walks towards ghe Bentley and speeds of.

"Call Aziraphale."

Crowley demands the hands-free caller.

"Sorry, all lines to London are busy at the moment."

The demon groans as he remembered what he had done hours earlier. He looks around and sees an old telephone box, he parks and rushes to the phone.

"Bum bum bum bum."

An angel in a crowded old bookshop hummed along to one of his favorite music set in an antique record player. As he hung his coat, a ring was heard throughout the shop. The angel considered not answering but he did anyway.

"I'm sorry but we're most definitely closed."

He forced a smile. But the voice at the other end gave him relief, but also anxiety.

"Aziraphale. It's me. We need to talk."

Crowley had to miracle the baby he had to sleep until he was done with his business with Aziraphale. He miracled a few bottles of milk next to him, too, just in case.

And it's been approximately 24 hours since the switch, and for the last 6 hours, and angel and a demon had been going straight at it with the alcohol.