chapter 22

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January 9,2017

"Can you let me wallow in self pity?" I snap at Paige.

"No," She says. "You are my sister and I'm not going to let you do this to yourself"

"I'm coming with you, aren't I?" I say as I lift my suitcase into my car. Andrew drove it over yesterday along with my things like I asked. He spoke to Paige and Tiff and explained everything after they had shouted and screamed at him for hurting me. I didn't come out of the room the whole time.

"Yh but you're not.......you"

"Just leave me alone, Paige"

"I—" Paige starts but one look from Tiff silences her.

She gets into the car without another word.

"Are you sure you can drive?" Tiff asks.

I put my arms around her neck, "I'm okay, I promise"

I pull away and she smiles at me, a small one.

"Besides I should know how to handle betrayal by now, I learnt a lot from when my dad left. I'm a pro"I say. Tiffany doesn't laugh, she looks at me like I'm mental.

"Say hi to your mum for me" She hugs me again.

"If you need a wedding planner and a venue and well basically everything you need for a wedding call me since I have everything prepared already" Tiff hugs me harder. It just came out.

When she lets go, I enter into the driver's seat and wave goodbye.

The drive is spent with Paige trying to make small talk but I answer in monosyllables. She eventually falls asleep or pretends to. I think about my dad. I don't admit it a lot but I miss him. Of course I miss him, he's my dad. I don't know where he is, all I know know is he's not dead but from what mom said about seeing him. She said he looked okay, happy maybe.

Two men in my life I thought will always be around, gone. Well that's if I don't count Jonathan, he left too but he's back now. I let the tears freely fall. I still cry, not a lot like before I went to talk to Andrew.

I feel something on my hand and look down to see Paige's hand on mine.

"I'm still here" She says like she can read my mind. "So is mom and Tiffany, and even Sam" She crying too.

I nod.

When we finally pull into the driveway of the house I grew up in, I see mom coming out. She's in jeans and a sweater, her hair is as blonde as mine. Immediately I pack. I jump out of the car and into her waiting arms.

"Mama," I say and break down.

"Oh London," Lorna strokes my hair. She smells the same, she feels the same, she's everything to me.

Paige joins the hug as mom keeps murmuring my girls, my beautiful girls.

I don't know how we entered the house but I'm sitting on the couch with a blanket around me and a mug of hot coffee in my hands. The air is quite chilly but the fire from the fireplace is very comforting and warm. I don't know where Paige is.

The house looks a little different from when my grandparents stayed here. Mom changed the couches to a grey one but kept the leather ones in the second living room. Yes, there are two. She kept the chandeliers though. The house is huge but doesn't really look all that big from the outside. There is a pool, and a jacuzzi beside it, at the back of the house and a bar sort of. There are five bedrooms. When I look up from where I'm sitting, I can see the piano because of the mezzanine.

I learnt to play when I was a kid but i haven't done so for a while now. There was no time to just sit around and relax. I moved out not long after college.

"Are you ok sweetheart?" Lorna comes to sit beside me with her own mug and a plate of chocolate chip cookies which she places on the table. "I called Tiffany to let her know you have arrived, she told me what happened and what Andrew said but I want to hear from you. You can't keep this inside you London, you need to talk to me or somebody. I want to hear your side of the story and of course Paige told me that Jonathan had something to do with this. That boy was always trouble, never liked him"

"Mom!" I stop her. She shrugs. I look into her eyes and tell her everything from the time I fell asleep with Jonathan to meeting Andrew in the park. I didn't cry the whole time. She was right talking helped me unload, every thought came out and the pain I was feeling sort of came out with the words. It was a relief.

She places a hand on my knee, " You'll get through this, I did"

"Did he cheat too?" I ask. "I know you fought but you never told us what it was about"

"He didn't cheat." She says sadly. "He just hated himself and I couldn't help. My parents left me money and this house and cars and it was too much for your father, he felt less like a man because I was the one providing for the family. He had a job, a good one but he didn't make as much as I did in a year. People talk and he let it go to his head"

"So he left because he didn't feel manly enough?" Paige says. We turn to see her sitting on the staircase. "He's an idiot"

Lorna smiles, "He's your father, you shouldn't say that"

"Do you still love him?" I ask. I need to know if I'll ever stop loving Andrew.

"I do, it's not the same but I do"

"Guess we are destined to have our great loves leave us, one way or the other" Paige says. "That sucks"

"And what great love do you have?" Lorna teases.

"Is it Josh or Sam?" I smile.

"Who's Josh? And Sam Dunham, really?" Lorna says. "Oh tell me more"

"London!" Paige shouts and I laugh and it feels so damn good.

I keep laughing while Paige tried to explain to my mom that nothing is going on between Sam and her.

"Thank you for making me come here, Paige" I say. She turns to look at me and smiles. She comes to hug me.

"I knew you needed mom, her cookies and a change of air"

"I love you" I say.

"I love you too, big sis"

"And I love you both"

Mom joins the hug by jumping on us and we end up falling on the ground in laughter.

That night as I'm lying in bed about to sleep, the first thing that pops in my head is not Andrew or that girl in Andrew's shirt but my dad.

Holding me close and telling me he'll never let go. I guess it's true, it's harder to forgive those we love.

I hope one day I can forgive them both.

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