If I Stay { Hayes Grier }

Chapter 16

{OK, hey mates, how's it going? Good I hope. Anywhale, I just wanted to to tell you its harder for me to update, cause of school, other story's , homework and life. But I'm trying my best, I love you all. ❤}
(Listen to Skinny Love by Birdy for this chapter)
(Hope you like this chapter.)

*Flashback*

Jerry Nuzzled my neck, I shifted aback at first but then I slipped into an image of Hayes doing it.

I had only met him recently, and I felt he was going too fast, Hayes wouldn't have done this.

Really All I could think about was Hayes, I wish he was here, nuzzling me. Jerry reached under my shirt and I pushed him unstably, his strong arms trying to drag down. He threw me onto the bed as he got on top of me, I struggled to break free, but I knew he had full control.

I was saved by a knock on my door.

*reality*

"He-Her boyfriend?" Hayes's eyes became a darker shade of blue as his arms fell in defeat.

I stood there in shock, I had never agreed to be in that position. Then it hit me, like a slap across the face, Jerry thought I was some kind of toy he could play with. I crossed my arms across my chest, it took every inch of pride not to slap him in the face.

"Excuse me?" I glared at him. "When did I say that?"

"A minute ago, remember?" Jerry spat.

"What I remember, is that a douchbag named Jerry was taking things to far." I was strangling him in my mind. (Am I the only on that does that? )

"He did what?" Hayes took a step closer to a trembling Jerry.

"Just go Jerry, this doesn't need to get messy" I pointed at Jerry, and he rushed for the door , leaving an awkward space between me and Hayes.

He looked over me in concern, once sure I was okay his eyes drifted back up to mine.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. I didn't say anything, I just kissed him.

Hard.

This kiss was full of longing and passion, I didn't feel fireworks, I felt bombs going off. These are the kisses I missed, that could never be replaced by anyone else's.

"Hayes, I need to ask you something." I tore apart from his much missed lips.

"What's that." He kept his arms around me, like he was trying to protect me form the world.

"I-I think we should stay friends.....What do you think?" I looked down, afraid to look in his icy blue eyes.

"What?" He snapped.

"Its just we cause so much pain for each other." I looked back up to find his eyes.

They were black.

"If that's what your truly want...." He shifted his gaze away.

I didn't want to say that was what I wanted, because it wasn't. I didn't want us to become friends, then just memories. I wanted long walks on the beach, I wanted someone there for me.

But I couldn't do that.

"Yes." As soon as the world kissed my lips, He got up.

"I'll text you later, k?" His eyes were now gray.

"I- Okay sure." He walked out and I just stood there dumfounded. Why did I push him away? I sighed and lay on my now messy bed, my room looked the same as always, the yellowish-brow walls reminded me of the cabin Hayes kidnapped me to. Memories danced in my head, all I could think about how much we love each other.

Well now, how much we loved each other, cause of me.

I reached over and grabbed my phone, I deleted some numbers that we no longer important. I reached Hayes's number and my thumb shifted overtop of delete. I pressed call instead.

"Hello?"

"Hayes?"

"Shea?"

"I was wondering....could you meet me on 20th?"

He hesitated.

"Sure."

Then he hung up.

That's it.

I put on a pair of all stars and I jogged over there, Hayes was leaning against the pole. His eyes found mine but he looked away.

I now realized how much I hurt him.

"Hey." My breath was short.

"Hey, so what do you want." I was taken aback by his straight forwardness

"I wanted to say it was a mistake...." I looked hopefully at his gray eyes.

"I agree." A glint of hope emerged in my stomach. "This whole relationship was mistake, your a worthless piece of shit that no one will ever want."

And I felt my insides fall.

"I-have to go." I ran as fast as I could home.

I have noting left, nothing.

Parents.

Gone.

Friends.

Gone.

Job.

Gone.

Collage.

Gone.

Love.

Gone.

I started a beam above my head. An idea hit my mind.

(Sad part, listen to her last words by Courtney.)

I grabbed some rope, and I threw it over the beam. I then tied a hole for my neck. I grabbed a chair and some paper, pen. I wrote a suicide note for

Whoever finds my body. I put the noose around my neck and I stood on the chair.

I dropped, and as I dropped, I heard a voice.

"Shea, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

Then I closed my eyes, and I imagined a happy place.

As the world went black.