Dreams That Do Not Matter (gmw fanfiction)

Girl Meets Leaving Middle School

Verity's POV

The last few days of middle school. I cannot say I feel nostalgic or that I'll miss this school. I hated this place. I hated it so much. This is the place where I finally realized that our past will always follow us and haunt us. This is the place where I've been hurt so many times that I don't dare to count. This is the place where Missy got hrt just as much as I have. This is the place where people said terrible things about both of us. 

Yeah, there's no doubt I won't miss it here one bit. 

I'm headed for one of the last history classes with Mr. Matthews I will ever have. I'm quite late, but it doesn't matter. Not like he will notice

It's another thing I'm not gonna miss. Mr. Matthews' classes. I'm not saying he's such a bad teacher, his teaching methods wouldn't be that terrible, they at least get the targeted people to actually remember what they were taught. IF those said lessons weren't targeted only on a VERY small and specific group of people. Which I'm incidently not a part of. Neither is Missy and thanks to us, the same goes for Lucas and Daniel. That still makes me feel guilty. 

Overall, history with Mr. Matthews only reminds me what I really am in the eyes of other people. Exactly nothing. 

I'm not too far from the classroom when I stop abruptly in my tracks. The reason for this is that I see Riley crying next to her locker. That itself is a very unusual sight. I feel terrible. I'm not good at seeing other people cry. It's one of the few things that make me want to cry myself although my not-crying thing is currently still on and I intend to keep it that way. 

I take a few steps closer to her and once I'm about to touch her shoulder comfortingly, she turns to me with an angry and a bit desperate ecpression. "Do you really like seeing this so much? Do you enjoy making me miserable? Taking away things I care about? I lost two of my closest friends. And. It's. All. Because. Of. You," her voice breaks towards the end. 

I did already feel guilt about taking Lucas and Daniel away from their friends. If it wasn't for me and Missy and my greediness, they would probably be completely happy and still together. I keep telling myself that I'm not the villain of this story. That people just see me that way and most people see it wrong. That it doesn't matter that much. 

But that's not entirely true. No matter what I do or say, I'm still a villain of a kind. And I'll always be. Because everyone has their own story in which they are the main hero. Even the villains usually see themselves as heroes. Now, here's the problem. If there are so many people who see me as a bad person and a villain in their stories, doesn't it actually make me one? 

I'd like to believe that's not true, but if I said I didn't doubt that statement one bit, I would only be lying to myself. 

But instead of saying any of those things, unfortunately, being the 'wonderful' person I am, I just let out, "Do you at least know my name at this point?" She doesn't say anything and I walk away. 

Great. Just great. Way to make things worse. I'm supposed to be the one fixing things, not the one making them even more complicated.

I enter the classroom quietly and hear Mr. Matthews say, "This is my last chance to teach you something." 

Maya looks at him questioningly, "Do you have more to teach us?"

"I have so much more I wanna teach you. So much more. I mean, you guys are gonna be leaving this place. What will you be leaving behind? What is your legacy? I wanna talk about not just what you've gotten from this place, but what youpve given."

Then the door opens and Farkle enters. I look at his desk and there is a goose sitting there. I don't even question it. At this place, it is not so unusual.

A few days later- the last day of middle school

We're about to walk out of school, looking at the familiar hallways and rows of lockers for the last time. Everyone is leaving just about now and there are a lot of people around. 

I turn to the exit and start walking. Missy's ballet class starts soon and I'm going to the rink. Lucas told me he would walk me there as it is in a different direction than Missy and Daniel are going. 

I stop stunned and turn around. I see Zay talking to Lucas, "We miss you and want you back with us, buddy. What happened to you? I didn't expect you to change so much. It's like I don't even recognize you anymore and we've known each other our whole lives."

Lucas, who was about to walk out with the rest of us turns to him and speaks in a calm voice, although I can see he's trying to keep his anger at bay, "Things are the way they are. They didn't have to be, but it's your choice just as much as mine."

"It's about that girl, isn't it? Since I've seen you looking at her, things started going downhill. What do you even see in her? She's just about the easiest person to forget, not to mention how terribly she treats others and overall, she's not worth your time."

I see Lucas clench his jaw and he visibly loses control. He bolts forward and harshly pushes Zay to the lockers and goes to punch him, but me, Missy and Daniel are quick enough to stop him. Daniel holds him back and luckily it seems he's about as strong as Lucas, otherwise I don't know how this would end. 

"Lucas, calm down. Nothing so bad happened," I say in a soothing voice. 

"Nothing bad?" Lucas raises his voice. "He said terrible things about you and you deserve none of that. You're the most wonderful person I know." His voice cracks. There are strong emotions in his words. 

I put my arms around his shoulders and lead him outside. I notice Missy and Daniel waving at us and walking to the subway station and I'm left alone with Lucas.

I have so many things I'd like to say. Finally, I decide on where to start, "Lucas, do you think you'll ever be friends with Riley and others again?"

He looks at me confused, "Why are you asking that? Anyway, it's not that I exactly hate them, but to answer your question, I cannot see myself being friends with them anytime soon. Why does it matter?"

I look down at my shoes, "I feel guilty. Because they are right. We did take you and Daniel away from them."

"They hurt you so much and you still care about them. How?"

I shake my head slightly, "Because, Lucas. Don't you think everyone deserves the chance to be happy? No matter what they did?"

He looks me in the eyes and captures them with his. "Then why  don't you give yourself that chance as well? You try so hard to make sure everyone is alright. Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that you are allowed to be happy as well?"

I don't reply to him, because I don't have any answer. He doesn't say anything either and we continue walking in silence. But the silence is quite comfortable between us. 

Before I know it, we're at the rink. I'm about to walk in, putting my hand on the door to push it open, but Lucas touches my wrist and stops me. "Can I just talk to you a moment longer, please?"

I nod at his request. 

Out of nowhere, he asks, "Will you miss middle school?"

I look at him in disbelief, "Are you joking? I hated that place."

"What changed that?"

"You came," I say simply. 

"How did that change things?" he continues asking.

"It made me hate that place even more," I clarify. "But then, things changed again. And something unrealistically good happened to me and Missy. We made friends for the first time in, like, eternity."

Yeah, I really hated the John Quincy Adams Middle School. But then Lucas came, and with him rejecting our friendship, it made me feel even more out of place than before. And I have never hated the school so much as back then. 

But this year, when I was pretty sure nothing would change, Daniel came. Together with Lucas, they became our first real friends. 

Because of that, I can say that I believe that things can get better and I'm looking forward to starting the new school year at high school with my twin sister and our two friends.