The Ruels of My Heart

chapter twenty - your perspective

I walk up to Ruel's house, holding a bouquet of flowers that I bought for him so I can thank him for looking out for me two nights ago at the party. I didn't get a chance to see him yesterday because he had a meeting somewhere and was busy all day. I knock on the front door but I get no response. I notice it is unlocked so I decide to go in and surprise him. I can't see him in the living room, so I look around as quietly as possible until I see his shadow around the corner. I can't wait to see his reaction. As I creep around the corner, I find myself screaming with what I see. Ruel, pressed up against a wall. A girl, about the same age as me with flawless silky brown hair and a perfect body, leaning into him. They're making out. When they notice me they break apart. Well Ruel tries to. The girl apparently doesn't care. My head feels dizzy and I am struggling to breath normally. It's like I can feel my heart snapping inside.
"Fuck!" Ruel shouts, pushing away the blonde girl, "It's not what it looks like, Leo! Please let me explain!"
But I've already seen enough. I throw the bouquet of flowers at him and spin around. I run through his house and outside and slam the door shut behind me. The loud noise satisfies me. I sprint, as fast as I can. Out of his garden, out of his street. I need to get away from him. I should have known. A guy like him would never actually care about me. He's probably been dating that girl the whole time. And eight other girls as well. I can't believe I fell for him. I can't believe I trusted him. I can't believe I broke Zac's heart for him. I hurt Zac so bad. I didn't mean to. I didn't want to. But I did. I will never forget the look of hurt on his face. The look of betrayal. But I thought it would be worth it. I would get to be with Ruel. I would be happy. But no. It was all pointless. My cheeks are burning and my vision is blurry from tears. I was an idiot for trusting him. I was an idiot for falling for Ruel. I was an idiot for coming to Sydney. Ever since I did, everything got worse. That's when I decide I want to move. I don't know where. I don't care where. Just far, far away from this mess I have gotten myself into.

I'm out of breath so I stop running for a second. I look around and see that I'm standing right in front of the coffee shop where Zac first asked me out. All the memories of us come flashing back. All the time we spent together. We were so happy. I find myself breaking down even more. Fuck I miss him. I was such a jerk for ruining what we had. Losing everything, for a guy I barely knew. For a guy who doesn't care about me anymore. I don't even know if he ever cared about me at all. This is exactly why I promised myself I would never love someone again.