The Ruels of My Heart

chapter thirteen - your perspective

One month later...
Zac and I are walking hand in hand along the beach. Ruel is walking next to Zac. We all went out for a dinner and a movie together, because it was Zac's birthday. I have started to respect Ruel, a lot more, and I can see why Zac and him are so close. It's getting dark and the sun has just finished setting.
"Leo, please can I talk to you?" Ruel asks me, interrupting my thoughts.
"Sure, shoot," I reply. Zac looks at Ruel curiously. I squeeze Zac's hand softly.
"It's something I really need to talk about with Leo alone, please," Ruel says. I glance at Zac, and he gives me a shrug, signalling he doesn't mind. He trusts me.
"Alright," I say, gently letting go of Zac's hand.
Ruel and I walk towards the sea, until we are out of earshot. I feel bad for leaving Zac, but I know he doesn't mind.
"So?" I say.
Ruel stares at the ground, drawing circles in the sand with his foot. He looks super nervous. He glances around uncomfortably. We are so far away from Zac now I don't think he can see us. This makes me anxious about what Ruel might say. After a few seconds, he speaks; "I know this is the worst time to tell you this, but I honestly can't wait any longer. You drive me insane, Leo."
What?
"Ever since I met you," he continues, "I have slowly been realising something. I can't deny it anymore. I am fucking attracted to you, Leo. You have no idea what it's like seeing you with Zac, kissing him, cuddling him. It's more painful then anything I've ever experienced."
He shyly looks up to me, his emerald eyes pierced with pain, meeting mine.
"Ruel-" I start but he interrupts me.
"Please just hear me out. You're the one girl I can't have. You're dating my freaking best friend! I'm not meant to have feelings for you. But I do. I can't help it. I have never felt like this about anyone else before. I just needed to tell you that. I'm sorry."
I study his floppy brown curtains, his sharp jawline, his tall figure. Suddenly everything comes crashing down. Ruel isn't the only one with feelings. I'm realising that I like him back.
"Shit," I say, "You can't do this to me, Ruel. We definitely can't do this to Zac."
"So this means..." Ruel starts, but he doesn't finish his sentence. His eyes filled with fear and hurt. I can feel my eyes prickling too.
"I wish I knew for sure," I sniff, "And I fucking wish I didn't... But I think I might like you too Ruel."
Then he crashes his lips down on mine. Bursts of electricity pass between us, which never happens when I'm kissing Zac. Ruel's lips are so soft, and for a split second I find myself kissing him back. But then I pull away from him.
"Ruel, we can't do this," I say.
"Why not, Leo?"
"Because of Zac. We can't hurt Zac. We have to tell him what's going on and end it immediately," I yell. Tears are flowing down my cheeks now.
"As much as I hate the thought of it, I you're right. It would kill him even more if he found out any other way," Ruel replies, quietly. I can see tears welling up in his eyes.
We walk back to Zac, our heads hung low the whole way, filled with shame.
"Everything all good?" Zac asks, smiling. His voice is so positive, happy. God I love that voice. I love Zac. But I love Ruel more. I don't even know why.
I can't meet Zac's eyes as I shake my head. His smile drops when he sees me wiping away tears. He envelopes me into a big protective hug. I feel awful.
"What's going on?" Zac says, this time to Ruel, and his expression is filled with concern.
"I think," Ruel says quietly, still staring at the ground, "I think I'm in love with Leo."