Him & I

22

If there's one thing of Amy's I wish I had, it'd be the ability to stare at people even when they clearly look uncomfortable about it. Atleast then I would be staring back at her without flinching away every two seconds.

I'm guessing it could be about what Sam said earlier, but she's smiling. Kinda. And it's a long time ago too, when Samantha came in making a remark on how better it was to wear pants in the stead of a skirt, then tried to spite Amy with the fact that I'd dumped her for a better project partner. I made it clear that it wasn't voluntary, yet Sam still joked about it, Amy rolled her eyes.

But T and Margo came in later, chattering on how they'd seen Senator Williams and his wife, Pamela's parents, on tv last night. Others claimed they'd seen them too and I was going to join in, tell Pamela her I thought her mom looked really pretty with shorter hair, but I saw her disposition. Her smile was tight and she clearly looked uncomfortable so I let it go, returned to my food.

It was a few topics after - because the girls on this table find it abominable to sit in peace and quiet - that I noticed my Pamela's static gaze on Steph. An oblivious Steph who kept talking on how getting a pet pig wouldn't be so bad of an idea, that Ariana seemed to be fine with it. I'd brushed my hand against hers to get her attention and I got it. She smiled then looked for something else besides Steph to look at. But it wasn't for too long. I didn't bother stopping her again. Instead, I looked away. And that was when I found Amy's eyes on me from across the table, but she was smiling. Still is.

I once again flinch after two seconds and look away.

"So, Melissa."

The chattering from everyone on the table stops momentarily even when it's not their name being called. Sparing my best friend a confused look first, I look to her, who's got her elbows on the table , hands clasped together to support her smiling face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, I was wondering how you felt. How you were coping."

"Coping?" I squint my eyes at her, then look round the bustling cafeteria when she takes her gaze off me and begins eating the salad off her plate. "How I felt about what?"

"About having a stepmother."

I'm confused but I feel the fork go heavy in my hand. And it makes a loud clang when it hits the plate.

"I know it'd be something to get used to."

From the side I feel Pamela's eyes on me till they shift to Amy. "What're you talking about?"

"Oh no, it's just Queen D came over the other day, said something like it, and I was sorta bothered how Melissa was taking it."

If I knew less, I'd actually think she's bothered. That her soft eyes are actually soft.

Soledad.

This is all 'cause of her and her rash assumptions and loud mouth. It's so annoying when she-

But everyone's quiet.

All their little gossips have ended, plus no one seems surprised. Rather they appear remote and robotic, eating like they're forced to eat. And unnaturally quiet.

No one's asking why I'd need a stepmother, there's no question from them if my parents are divorced, or a more tragic situation. I don't have to explain why there'd be any need for a stepmother or space for one because they know. They already know. But what exactly do they know? And how do they know It? I've never spoken about my family dynamics before.

"Amy, just cut it." Pamela says to Amy, yet her eyes are on me from the side. Caring, but waiting. Waiting like everyone else for me to tell a story they might or might not already know. Or perhaps it's to hear my version of it.