Stay Strong- (A Demi LovatoFanFiction) ON HOLD

20. Demi Relapses.

"I hate you. You should just leave. No one cares about you. Not even your mother wanted you. You should just leave and never come back. Just go... I can't even stand looking at you." Demi hands me an empty suitcase and points me up to my room. I pack everything I will need.

"Just leave! Get out of here!!" Demi screams.

"No! I thought you loved me!"

I wake up panicking. Demi is there, scared out of her mind. “Anna. Shh... I'm here. Everything will be okay. Just breathe."

She closes her eyes. Tears streaming down her face. "Tell me what happened."

"You were there, kicking me out. Telling me you didn't love me and that you wanted me to die."

"I love you, Anna. No matter what. I would never hate you." Demi says, rocking me.

The whole day, I felt the same. Nothing really cheered me up. I think I'm alright. I don't really know what I feel right now.

"Demi. Is there anything we can do at all today?"

"I have an idea. I'm still figuring out what though."

There's something wrong. "Demi. Are you okay?"

---Demi's POV---

No I'm not okay. I really want to tell her, but I can't. I don't know what I feel right now. I can't even say. There's so much going through my mind. I can't control it. Too many things are rummaging through my mind.

I haven't been eating. I'm not telling her. She has to stay strong. I've been thinking of writing a new song, Something that explains what's going on. I don't want everyone knowing what's happening to me.

I still come close to harming myself. I've come close to doing it several times. I'm a year clean. Well I was. Until now...

I hide my blades under my bed in a box. A locked box.

I am desperate. I hesitantly head up to my room, lock the door, and grab the box. I set the box on my bathroom counter. I search for the key In my phone case.

Got it.

I slide the key inside the hole, and turn the key. The box opens, showing five clean, sharp blades.

I grab two, putting one in my back pocket, and the other in my phone case.

I lock myself in in my bathroom, unlocking my bedroom door.

I pick up the blade, handling it between between my fingers. I put it up to my wrist, slicing it, feeling the familiar, numb sensation.

I miss doing this. It feels so good. The numb, tingly, relieving feeling.

It feels amazing.

I slice my wrist several more times. I love this. I clean my arm, putting bracelets over my fresh cuts. I can't have Anna finding out.

"Demi? Are you okay?" Anna asks, through the closed door.

I'm fine. I don't need help...

I nod. Then realize she's not in here. "Yes. I'm fine." I manage to croak. It felt like my throat was sealed shut.

...

I couldn't control my tears.

...

I clean up the blood from the floor, and unlock the door; blade in my phone, hidden from view. I'm still crying. If Anna found out, she'd kill me.

Anna tumbles on top of me, once the doors open, falling into my arms. "Demi..... are you alright? I was worried." 

Tears were streaming down my cheeks. "I'm okay, Anna. Don't worry." I was really trying to hold back my tears.

"Then why are you crying?" Anna asks, concerned. I can tell she was worried. I don't want her to know.

"I'm fine.  Can a girl cry every once in a while?" I whimper.

I'm fine. I don't need help. I'm okay. Nothings wrong with me. I'll be okay. This is all normal.

"Don't eat. You're fat. Maybe you should cut deeper next time." The voices chant in my mind.

"Go away!"

Why can't you leave me alone? The voices, i can't stand them anymore.

I clench my fists into my hair.

"Demi!!" Anna screams.

I might have passed out, because the next thing i knew, Im on the floor. Anna has her arms around me, rocking me, trying to calm me down.

"Demi...shhh... everything will be okay. I promise." She has a handful of my hair in one of her hands and is petting my soothingly with the other.

---Anna's POV---

Demi was shaking and whimpering in my arms. It took a while to calm her down. But lets say, 10 minutes, Demi was calm.

I have to be careful what i do and say. It can trigger another attack.

I'm afraid of what she will do. She does have bipolar. So I'm scared of what will happen.

I hope she doesn't abandon me, like my parents did.

Sorry for no updates in forever. I've been so busy with school. And some other things that I'm having trouble with. I'm working on another chapter for this one and my new one. This one will be edited soon.

Stay Strong X
Amanda