love me till I'm me again - loki odinson

everything looks darker when you close your eyes

Loki woke with a start, bolting upright with tears pouring down his cheeks. He was panting hard. Trembling. Every part of him screamed at him to go hide somewhere he'd never be found, to run as far as he could. He wanted to. He was scared. Terrified. He knew he was no longer the brave warrior he once was, that warrior died long ago on Statesman by the hand of Thanos. What came back, what the Grandmaster brought back, was only his bones; exposed and weak.

"Thor," Loki whimpered in a small voice between the sobs and the labored breathing. He had him. The Grandmaster had him, and he made sure Loki knew every greatest torture he was going to put Thor through. He told Loki all of that in his sleep.

The only way Loki could ever hope to maybe see Thor alive again was by going back to Sakaar.

┈┈ ❋ ┈┈

The second they threw him in a cell Thor got back up, charging at them with lightning in his eyes only to be electrocuted with that obedience disk, once again, attracting to the side of his neck.

He dropped to the ground, seizing. Still his murderous stare never left the Grandmaster.

"Look at that," En Dwi chuckled, he was, indeed, very entertained by this. "You've got a fight in you, Sparkles. That's pretty... impressive, actually. I've gotta say I do love challenge. You make it all not-so boring after all. Sometimes I wish Lolo had that fight in him, too. You know he submits too easily. Just... uhhh... just a push on the leash and he'd come crawling back on his knees."

"You shut the fuck up," Thor hissed. Snarling like a mad man (he wasn't the one with disturbed mind here) Speaking was hard, almost impossible, when he still felt the shock going through the blood in his veins. But he was in rage. In so much rage it was blinding. Just by hearing the creature talked about Loki made that urge in him skyrocket; the urge to tear the creature's throat apart with his teeth.

"You will never... lay a hand... on Loki again," Thor spoke when the shock eventually subsided and he could breathe again. Though he still remained on the ground, strength hadn't returned to his body; at least not so much that he could stand on his feet just yet.

The Grandmaster smiled, watching Thor struggling. "We'll see about that. Lolo -"

"His name is Loki!" This time Thor did stand up. He lunged forward, meant to bury his teeth deep in the Grandmaster's neck, but the shock radiating from the obedience disk knocked him on the floor before he could reach the creature. Said creature didn't so much as taking a step backward. If anything he did yawn, holding the controller in his hand like it wasn't a sadistic device made for torture but a child's harmless toy.

"You won't find him. Your plan won't work. Loki won't come for me. You will never -" Thor's voice cut short when the pain got too intense.

"Oh Sparkles," he knelt down, looking at Thor and Thor wished with all his heart he could pluck the lunatic's eyes out. "You really gave your brother too little credit. Let's see how far he can watch you suffer before he breaks and come back to me."

With that he and all his guards left. And it was just Thor writhing on the ground. It'd take a while until the shock worn out.

It wasn't the pain they were to put him through that worried Thor. What scared the God of Thunder was that, deep down, he knew the Grandmaster was right; Loki would come for his rescue because watching Thor in pain had never been Loki's strength (wasn't that what got Loki killed on Statesman) and Thor could only pray for Loki to forget about him and run away.

~~~

Thor lost track of time. He wouldn't know whether it's been weeks or months since they stole him from his life in Midgard. He only knew pain. And he was frankly surprised when one of the guards told him it's only been three days since he was, well, kidnapped.

Three days of unimaginable pain. His skin torn open, deep cuts decorated him went well with ugly bruises; black and purple and blue. And Loki hadn't come.

Which was good. Thor could only wish his brother would stay as away from here as he could. Let Loki forget about him if it meant the younger Odinson was safe.

On the next day they dragged Thor out of his cell, locked him in some dark and cold room where he saw no window. When they peeled off his skin and poured boiling water down on the red flesh Thor wasn't able to hold back a scream; a raw howl of agony forced out his throat and in that moment, in that moment, Thor hated himself the most for he actually wished for Loki to be here so they'd stop with all these pain they were inflicting on him. How selfish of him that, after everything Loki had sacrificed, Thor still asked for more.

At least this time his cry for help was answered when the door opened and two guards brought in the face Thor wanted so badly to see, but at the same time hoped never to see.

Loki. Loki was here. And the second their eyes locked Thor could see the terror on his brother's face as Loki took in the wounds on Thor's body.

And Thor's face shown pure horror because this was wrong. So wrong. Loki wasn't supposed to be here. Why was he here? Thor wanted to shout at him to run, get out of here and save himself, but the words got stuck in his throat for everything was too much.

"Let him go," Loki spoke loudly. His voice echoed in the room, and it took Thor aback because this, this was anything but the Loki who was broken by the Grandmaster; that Loki couldn't speak a word louder than a whisper. This Loki, however, was standing tall in front of the man of his worst nightmare, commanding order with so much determination. (It brought back memories of Statesman where Loki confronted Thanos before what-happened happened, and it scared Thor; the way Loki looked at his abuser now was no different than the way he looked at Thanos then)

"Let him go and I'm all yours,"

The Grandmaster was smiling widely now. He looked at Loki like Loki was a fresh meat and he was deciding how best to cook.

Thor could only moan a no, knowing he was losing his brother again after having lost him too many times in a thousand lifetimes.