love me till I'm me again - loki odinson

so cold

Trigger warning! It's starting to get intense from here.

His skull hurt, his body ached and his insides felt as though they were on fire. Today's match was rough. His contender was three times bigger than him, but not stronger. If the two-headed creature was stronger than him, it would have been the Thunder God's head on the floor instead. Thor remembered shouting, screaming and fighting with all he had got. The last things he could recall was wielding his axe and decapitating that monster. Then it all turned black.

"You're awake." A soft, soothing voice entered his ears the second after he started growling and moving around. It was familiar. Too familiar.

"Thor..." Loki moved a bit closer, he sounded concerned. Thor still didn't seem like he acknowledged his brother's presence. When Loki hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder he looked up, and the moment their eyes met, Thor quickly turned away and emptied his stomach out on the floor. Loki sighed. At least, he didn't make a mess on their only bed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." Thor uttered between the retch. He looked back at Loki again, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. The Thunderer then opened his mouth, though before he could say anything he whipped his head back to the side and vomited some more, somehow more violently than the first time. He felt his insides twisting, forcing more bile out his mouth, and the smell of it made him throw up more. A whole mess. Only when Thor felt Loki's hand rubbing his back did he calmed down and stopped eventually. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You're alive. That's all that matters." Loki spoke softly with a small, sad smile. He grabbed a washcloth and cleaned Thor's mouth with it. "You should lay back and rest. I'll clean up."

Thor wanted to argue, wanted to insist he was the one cleaning up the mess he, himself, made but his body said otherwise. Norns, he didn't even have enough energy to protest when Loki gently pushed him back down on the mattress. He felt so weak and that was the problem: Thor was never weak. He wasn't used to being the patient one in the situation. Usually it was Loki who was helpless and Thor took care of him. Now the table had turned. Or maybe they were both helpless here on Sakaar. Indeed, they were both helpless and weak and just some toys of the Grandmaster.

~~~

"You.... what happened?" Loki's hand froze mid-motion during his cleanup and he gulped. Thor had been quiet for almost ten minutes and the Trickster thought his brother had already fallen asleep. Surely, he was wrong.

"What do you mean?" He pretended like he didn't know what Thor was talking about. His eyes anywhere but at the God, he called brother, laying still on their shared bed.

"You know what I mean, Loki. You know what I do everyday: I fight in the arena, but you never tell me what you do. What did he do to you everyday-"

"Thor..."

"You came back late at night all the time looking sore and worn out, and when I ask, you won't talk. You always change the subject. What... what happened?"

Silence and tension devoured the atmosphere. Loki wouldn't respond. As always. He went quiet when Thor asked about him and the planet's ruler. Though something told him his brother wouldn't let him off the hook so easily this time.

"Loki-"

"Just sleep!.... please." The Trickster quickly lowered his attitude the second he realized he almost yelled at Thor. It'd only raise suspicion.

"Why can't you tell me what that lunatic do to you everyday? I am your brother!" Thor raised his voice also, despite how his injured body begged him to do what Loki said.