love me till I'm me again - loki odinson

when i drift off, i will dream about you

Dark theme. Trigger warning's still applied. Please, please, please, don't hate me for this!

Thor didn't understand. His brows furrowed and his lips curved into a frown while his gaze kept switching from Loki's face to those two vials in which Loki took one, and pushed the other in Thor's palm, clenched Thor's fingers around it. There was something about the look in Loki's eyes and his ghostly smile that made Thor feel uneasy.

"Loki..."

"Don't. Don't say anything, Thor. Let me explain. You just... listen," Thor knew these voice. He also knew Loki always rambled when he was up to something. "I... I got these from the Grandmaster's henchmen. I... I said something I shouldn't to him, and he got mad and... and he hurt me. He ordered his men to hurt me, but.. but here, listen, when they were beating me, I snatched these from their pockets. I was fast enough! I know what they are! Grandmaster use them sometimes, when he don't feel like using his melting stick. And... and I know-"

"Loki, Loki!" Thor's grabbed his shoulder when he noticed his brother wasn't even breathing, "Slow down. Breathe...." The God of Thunder had now started to put the pieces together, and he felt his own breath hitching, "Loki, these are..." Thor took a deep breath, "These are poisons, right?"

Loki's eyes, that glued to Thor's, began getting teary. He was silent for a few seconds, then he broke out. "It's the only way, Thor! I have to get out. We have to get out! These poisons are our only answer. They're not like any other substance. I learned that if - when - when we die from it, even Grandmaster won't be able to bring us back. We'll be free, Thor. We'll finally be free!" Loki sounded so desperate. More desperate than ever it broke Thor's heart. Thor never knew how much Loki wanted to escape this, never knew how much this destroyed his baby brother. And he was speechless.

"Please, Thor," Loki grabbed Thor's shoulder when the Thunder God went quiet, "He will never let us go. It's only a matter of time until he gets bored, and when he eventually gets bored of us, he'll kill us. I know. I've seen it. I want us to die together by our own hands, our own term, not his. This is our only chance!"

"Loki, I...." Thor was at a loss for words. Suddenly he was hit by the vision of him slitting Loki's throat that night. Suddenly Thor wanted to throw up. "I've seen you dead enough times already. I don't think I can take it no more." His voice was vulnerable. Norns, Thor wanted to cry and scream, yet at the same time, he also wanted to just lay down and curl into himself until all of this was over. It was so very exhausting.

"Then don't watch," Loki suggested. He knew this was hard for Thor. He didn't blame him at all, "We... we don't have to watch each other die, Thor. We can... turn our backs on each other, and we'll meet again on the other side." He tried to smile, to convince his brother it was okay. They were going to be together.

"I don't know.... I don't know anymore, Loki." Thor closed his eyes and he cried silently. He was just tired. Loki's hand on the back of his made Thor reopen his eyes. He knew both their eyes were just as red and puffy at this point.

"Please...." Loki trailed off, "I am doing this, Thor. But I don't... I don't want to be alone, don't want us to be apart anymore. If we do this together, one last time, we can be happy together again. On the other side, we'll be happy and we'll be together! Just like the old times when we were children, remember?" He forced a smile, and deep down, Thor knew Loki was right. They couldn't live like this as some madman's prisoners.

"Like when we were children..." Thor chuckled even though tears were rolling down his face.

"Like when we were children, brother." Loki nodded slightly. He was calmer now. So surprisingly very calm and at peace.