Breaking Point

Chapter 47 // Chantelle

[New York City, NY]

Jesse was unable to move or speak initially.

The way his body rendered into a wordless state was what broke me. His sadness was expressed through his eyes. Even when he pushed his hair back after composing himself, he tore at his bottom lip as he stepped hastily to me, hands out to hold my arms. He shook his head. He shook his head so much that I wanted to surrender and unpack everything and stay with him for as long as time would allow us. But that wasn't possible.

What was a relationship with toxicity?

No, it wasn't the same toxicity he experienced when he was dating Kennedy, but this toxicity was originating inside my head and it was poisoning my happy thoughts. This toxicity was spawning from everything Preston had said, doubting me as a person to be strong enough to handle this lifestyle that Jesse was unable to ever escape from again. As much as I resented him for voicing it, I knew it was true and it was undeniable.

"What are you doing?" Jesse whispered, his voice cracking. His hands ran down my arms until they found my hands and his fingers twined with my own.

"I can't be on this tour anymore," I admitted. "Not with Preston around. Not after what he said. What he said was true, Jesse. I'm not cut out for this life."

Jesse delved right into a story. "It's all a lie. He only said that stuff to you and tried to kiss you because Pauline signed a contract with Kennedy's team that they would try to break us apart. Lewis is dealing with it all now. Pauline's fired and Preston's leaving. They can't do shit to us again."

Jesse's confession spun around in my head, marring my vision temporarily. How could someone do that? How could someone who has been with Jesse since day one fight against him like that? It was despicable and diabolical, but somehow I believed it. Of course the universe was trying to intervene in our relationship.

Why couldn't Kennedy leave us the fuck alone?

Not only did we have Jesse's fans wanting to divulge every fucking detail about our relationship and our sex life – which is not only disrespectful but private – we also had Kennedy trying to break us up.

For years I've been apart of the hate. Even when Jesse was with Kennedy, fans still hated me because they were scared I would break up their "favourite Hollywood couple". And when they did eventually break up, I was to blame. I could never win with them, and it was a never-ending battle. They never want to see me. They always only wanted to see Jesse and be photographed with him while I had to lurk in the background.

Kennedy inspired ninety per cent of this new album he was touring the world for, and every time he's been caught up in a scandal since this tour kicked off, I've been in the fucking crossfire because I'm an easy target. His fans have lashed out at me and more so after the Rose interview was publicised. It was unfair, but this was a dark side of Hollywood I've come to abhor. No one, unless they've been in my position, knows what it's like to date a "world sensation".