Promise | Jimin x Jeongyeon

IX. 약속

We had just gotten back from a Song festival that had lasted for three hours. It was around midnight, and everyone was depleted, squandering all the energy they had left in them. Even the managers were struggling to stay on their toes, having to nod off every now and then during the car ride home. Today was a long day, and as the night closes, the coming year slowly drew nearer.

I went into my room and laid myself down, aching in whatever strength I had left in me. Nothing came to my mind as I did, leaving to stare off into space while the silence slowly crept its way in. Loneliness had settled itself on me, shedding this cold and empty feeling. After what happened with Jimin and I, it had seemed that Loneliness had turned itself into an old friend now, comforting me from whatever pain I had.

It's weird but from the beginning I acted so childishly and to see how far I've come. I never realized how agonizing it is to move on. Having this youthful infatuation for someone and to lose that said person on your own terms really had an effect. I'm not sure if it's good or bad, but it brought me to a point where innocence is no longer my fortitude. This love and hate relationship with myself, learning to love, learning to love myself, it all boils down to perspective that made me stronger as a person. I've accepted these emotions, all the pain, all the sadness, and all the joy and love that comes with it... its a part of me that builds upon who I am... who I need to be.

It's funny for me to mention this, but I had this dream... It was like in this long hallway. Everyone that I knew was there, everybody that I loved and cared deeply about, they were all there. They were all walking peacefully, paying no mind where they were going at all. Nobody talked, but I could feel this warm cheerfulness glow from them. Of course I sort of leapt around from person to person, asking what was going on, but they never answered... they just smiled at me and kept walking. As I made my way to the front... I found Jimin there, quietly walking just like everybody else... He sort of looked to me with the same smile, but it was different. His smile was more comforting, as if he had been waiting for me. I asked him where everybody was going... and he told me to just look ahead and see... What I saw... I saw this bright place. It was overgrown, but it was in a sense that felt more homely rather this untouched decay... I woke up bawling after that dream. I didn't know what it meant but it felt wonderful.

I hadn't stopped thinking about that dream. After some time, I kinda figured what it could've implied. From the beginning, I was promised that everything will be okay in the end, and because of it, I waited... I waited as long as I could, but nothing happened, everything perpetually stayed the same. Then I realized, it needed me to fulfill that promise, instead of just standing idly by while everything crumbles. It was up to me to let go of what held me back. I needed to trudge on without it...

I guess this is why Loneliness had become a friend. It made me appreciate the little things, appreciate the small increments of love that's given, and most of all... Loneliness gave me something to look forward to in the end. A sight on love that will be waiting for me...

—

It was around 2 in the morning when my phone started vibrating loudly. I couldn't sleep at all so I had no difficulty checking my phone..

I got a text from an unknown number, messaging me with this vague little message.

"Our paths may have diverged now, but in the end we'll meet again."

What came after was a music file titled: "promisejeongyeon.mp3"

...

A warm tingling feeling came to me after listening to it for the first time. The song bore this cheery optimism that felt undeniably sincere. From the simple yet cute guitar chords, his sweet and sugary voice, and to the lyrics... At first I thought the lyrics were superficial in a way, but on that second listen I realized that this song had more weight to it than I had expected. His words were honest, but it carried this heartfelt truth that almost feels as if he himself was talking to me. It brought me somewhere I never thought I'd ever be at again. I was tearing up again... but these tears didn't feel pain... they were tears that had more weight.

"This song was initially for me, but in a way... it's for the both of us. Everything will be okay in the end."

~~A/N~~