The Unknown [Minho x Reader] + gifs ✓

28. Giving up

When I got back in the glade I threw myself to the ground and tried to organise my breathing. I didn't even care that I was on time or that I had barely checked anything. I just wanted to disappear and not think about anything.

"You seem to be different from your usual self." Newt stated standing above me.

"Let's not talk about that." I closed my eyes trying to make him understand that I was not in the mood for his company. 

"You do realise that people feel better when they talk things out, right?" He whispered. I opened my eyes trying to understand how his voice came from such close distance and that is when I realised he has sat down next to me on the grass.

"When did you become so wise?" I asked with fake curiosity.

"I am being serious, Y/N. You will feel better." He kept going on. I sat and pushed myself up in a standing position. "Let's grab something to eat and let's have a conversation up on the Lookout tree. What do you think?" He seemed so genuine and I was so desperate for some kind of an advice, even if it's the worse one of all, that I decided to go with the flow.

"Fine, it's not like I have anything to lose." I sighed deeply.

"Believe me, you will feel better." He winked at me and let out a silent chuckle.

I hooked my arms with his and we walked to the kitchen. We didn't sit down there however, we just grabbed some sweet breads and went to the Lookout tree. I went up first meanwhile Newt followed closely. We sat down quietly and started eating. We didn't say a word, just sat there in silence while we could only hear each other's chewing and the Maze moving. It wasn't an idillic moment at all, but at least this felt real and something I was able to understand without second guessing it.

"Newt?" I called him almost as if I was whispering. He didn't reply, but looked at me showing his attention. "How much do you know about Minho and I?" I asked and I could clearly see that he was thinking very hard.

"Well, I know what I know from you, which is barely something and I know what I know from Minho which is even less. So basically I only observe as an outsider from what I see from afar. Why?" He asked curiously.

"I like him. Very much." I stated honestly. 

"I know." He replied while a gentle smile appeared on his face.

"He has feelings for me." I stated bluntly. But this time my voice was more sour. 

"I also know." He said, however his expression has changed to a more serious one.

"He doesn't want to like me though." I looked at Newt to search for some answers in his eyes. 

"I'm aware." He nodded slowly. "I met him last night and he told me about what happened." I was waiting for him to continue, but he didn't seem to want to. I slowly started understanding what he was trying to say by not saying anything.

"I will keep my distance." I stated and turned away. I didn't even have to say all those things I wanted to. I only needed to look at him to realise that my feelings needed to be put aside and hidden. I felt like my chest got heavier and heavier and as if a big lump was trying to make my breathing harder.

"Just give him time." He said silently, but it sounded as if he only said it for my sake. 

"Can I ask you for a favour?" I looked straight into his eyes. He nodded. "Please tell me what he has told you. I need to know what he is thinking." He looked down at his hands that were playing with each other. He took a deep breath and started talking.

"He likes you. He likes you very much, Y/N. And he is fully aware of his feelings. However he is the kind of person who needs to be in control of himself. He can't handle unexpected feelings well. Let that be simply anger, he can't control it. And so because he has come across a feeling he has not experienced before, or even if he did he doesn't remember how he handled it, he is very confused." He explained. With every word my chest got tighter and tighter. "He wants to forget what he feels for you because he doesn't know how to handle it." He sighed and I followed him. "He thinks it will be easy to just put his feelings aside, but I don't think he understand how much he likes you." In a way I was happy to hear that he was feeling very strongly towards me, but in the same time it made it even harder. "Just give him time."

"Newt?" 

"Hmm?" He looked at me.

"Are we talking about the same person?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"Minho isn't the kind of person who will change his mind about such thing. Just think about how  difficult it was for me to become a runner. I was thrown into the pit because noone wanted to even consider the fact that I could be a good runner. Just remember how long it took for him to realise that I'm ready for the Maze. I had to pass out and exhaust all my energy. The only time he considers changing his mind is if an unexpected and very radical thing happens. And that will not happen when we are talking about feelings." I shook my head. "Please, please say it. Say that we will not have a chance."

"I can't do that, Y/N. I don't want to lie." He frowned.

"How is it a lie, when that's the most logical way of thinking?" I shook my head. "Just say that we have no chance to be together and that will help me get over it. Please." I asked him almost begging. I had to hear it from him. Someone that knew us both very well.

"Y/N.."

"Just say it!" I growled in frustration.

"Alright. I don't think you will ever have a chance to be together." He sighed deeply as if he had to tell me the worst news I could have received. As much as it pained me, I knew I had to accept it. I knew it was true and even though I wanted Minho to just come up to me and take his words back, I knew it was just a wish.

"Thank you." I smiled at him painfully. 

"This is not how I imagined this conversation." He shook his head. "I planned to make you feel better."

"I will be. This is not the end of the world. Feelings are coming and going, I guess." I smiled gently.