Hellfire & Brimstone

Discovering Me

Bucky had been under for a few weeks, and I was just reaching the point I was able to work with Steve. It worked out, as the time Shuri and I had spent together leading up to now took everything out of me. The few memories she was able to pull were full of torment and pain. I would leave our sessions and go to my room, look around the space that Bucky and I shared and watch as the memories blurred passed me. 

This time had to be different. I promised Steve we would work today and I was determined to keep that promise. I smiled to Shuri as I entered her lab, going over and sitting on the table I was becoming very familiar with. 

"Long night?" I joked to her as I saw her yawn.

"Of course, I am racking my brain to help you." She joked back. We had grown rather close, not as close as sisters, but closer then friends. 

I was in mid chuckle when I looked and saw T'Challa walk through the door way. I nodded my head in acknowledgment of him, he smiled and returned the action. Shuri had come from behind her desk with electrodes, which was my cue to remove my over shirt. I lifted the t-shirt over my head and I revealed the tank top I had on beneath it. I heard a quiet gasp from where T'Challa was, when I looked I saw Steve standing there. His brow was furrowed and I could see visible lines of concern on his face. 

In three weeks time my body had thinned out and you could clearly see the bones of my shoulder blades and spine. I met his glare and held it as Shuri began to talk to me. 

"I'm going to try to go easy on you today." She began, as she attached the electrodes to my temple and chest. "We are going to have to pick up with where we left off yesterday," she placed another electrode on my back. "I think it should go smoothly." She finished the electrodes and turned to go back to desk area. 

I watched Steve as he approached Shuri and they had a quiet exchange, she nodded in response to something he said and then he looked to me. I gave a short nod to him, which he returned, then he and T'Challa exited the room. I knew the whole kingdom must have heard my screams the past few days. Shuri couldn't explain why I was physically feeling the pain, the best we could come up with is that my telepathic abilities ran deeper then we thought. 

I laid back on the cool table and took a deep breath. I was mentally preparing for today all morning. I closed my eyes and allowed my senses to soak into the environment. I took in the soft sounds of the equipment whirring and the feel of the cool table. I took a deep breath and waited for Shuri to give the go ahead, it didn't take long.

"Here we go." She said and I could imagine the digital image of my brain appearing in front of her as she began to help me unravel my own mind.  I took another deep breath and forced myself into my own memories. They always started the same, the last kiss from Bucky and then I went in reverse. We had worked our way backward so many times that I was able to move pretty quickly. This time something managed to skip, as I landed somewhere in my childhood.

I was in a small garden, chasing a bunny around the gated area. I was giggling and laughing. The cool breeze of spring surrounded me, the flowers were blooming and I could smell honeysuckle in the air. I looked around me, as I lost sight of the bunny. I saw a woman on a swing not far from me, she was in the shade and had a glass of tea in her hand. 

"Jesse dear, come over here." She spoke with such a tenderness and song in her voice. I felt my heart leap as she called me and I ran to her without hesitation. She handed me a glass of tea and I drank it back. I listened to her laughter, that sounded like soft bells in my ears, as I set the glass down. 

I looked to her and suddenly felt hands at my waist as they lifted me high in the air. I felt my face smile so hard it hurt and a giggle rang from my lips, breaking the silence of the garden we were in. I felt the hands leave my side as I was air born for a short time, landing back in the arms of the one who had lifted me. His green eyes met mine and his voice warmed my heart.