Up Too Late

skittish

Human interaction.

It seems simple but never is.

Is it normal, that

When left alone I shake at your face?

I can't look into your eyes, 

The truth makes me sick. 

Is it normal that every time 

I visit the hall I worry whether 

I'm sitting walking looking right?

Am I the only one

Who tenses with a touch,

Accidental or not?

I seem fine but inside I'm dying. 

Everyone around is a threat. 

Do they see the red from 

Too many layers of foundation?

Do they see the bags under my eyes

and the weight that they carry?

I've coughed twice - everyone must be staring. 

Everything overanalyzed and criticized. 

I want to be able to touch someone's arm 

Without freezing up.

To look in someone's eyes without fear. 

To have an actual conversation

To lay my head on their shoulder

Without it shaking.

Instead I let myself freeze up. 

Can anyone tell I'm trying?