Dear Stanley [Watty's 2019. Completed]

Helping Mom

Friday, June 18th

Dear Stanley,

I skipped meeting up with Breeze last night. Instead I stayed with Mom as she cried herself to sleep, right there on the floor in front of the stairs.

I tried to soothe her down, and this time she fell into my embrace. She didn't slap me or insult me. She was too tired to do that.

She hugged me back and I realized how frail she had become. She could've been blown away by the wind easily.

"Was it my fault?" Mom sobbed. I patted her hair down while rubbing her back comfortingly.

"No Mom." I whispered.

"I never meant to make him leave, Nicolas."

"I know." She was shaking so much and I was scared she was going to just stop working. I hugged her as tight as possible.

There were other things that had to be said to her. Other things that she deserved to hear.

"Mom I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I didn't mean any of them. At all."

Mom nodded her head and sniffled. She reminded me of a little child needing to be cared for.

"I want Andrew to come back."

"He doesn't deserve you." I replied. It's funny. I said those words to Dad just a few weeks ago. If only I knew what I know now

We sat like that for a few more moments, the son caring for the Mom instead of the other way around.

Eventually, her breathing slowed and she was sleeping against me. I picked her up in my arms (that's how light she was) and carried her up the stairs to put her to bed.

I couldn't help but notice how big the bed was for only her.

As I trudged downstairs, I heard my footsteps echoing in the house. I looked at the living room and the dining table remembering my conversations with Dad there. But I pushed them away. There were memories of the both of you all over this place and it hurt. It really did.

It felt cold and I wanted to be out of there, but I stayed Stanley. I stayed for Mom. Because she was all I had left.

I lost you and I lost Dad.

I knew I had to act now. I couldn't wait any longer otherwise I'd lose Mom too. I'd be completely lonely. I'd have no close family with me.

I had to find you and it was now or never.

The only place I could think to search in was a big city. A city bigger than life. A real city.

New York.

I had to go to New York.

I saw the soft golden rays of the rising sun through the windows of my house. The sun had rise. I had to go to Breeze and tell her about my plan.

I needed to do this. It was my only option. It wasn't even practical but there was craving inside of me that knew I had to go to New York and then everything would be solved.

I glanced at the clock. There was an hour left till the school opened. I thought that if I got there early, I'd be able to use the computers and then tell Breeze about my plan after she came.

I know I looked horrible Stanley, but I was determined to find you. I was exhausted from not sleeping at all and from the nights events but adrenaline pumped through me.

I walked to school filled with a crazy kind of determination, the type that scared people. My stomach growled and my head throbbed slightly but I ignored all of it and immediately went to the computer lab.