𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚑 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝!

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"Oh god, what the fuck."

I opened my eyes and was met by the bright sunlight shining through my window, giving me an instant headache. I held my head as I rolled over, and was met with Finn. I got out of bed, gently, and grabbed a random shirt from my floor. Clothes were scattered all over my room, garbage, empty cigarette packets, and half empty bottles of all sorts of alcohol, all over the place. I crawled back into bed, and Finn wrapped his arm around me.

"Good morning."

"Mornin babe."

I played with his hair as his head was on my abdomen, arm stretched around my torso, holding me close. I reached over to the nightstand on my bed, and I grabbed a bottle of vodka, opening the lid and taking a sip.

"It's 9 in the morning Y/N."

"5 o'clock somewhere."

I giggled and took a few more sips of it.

"Want some?"

"No I'm okay."

"Your loss."

I chugged some more of the vodka, still playing with his hair. The feeling of the clear liquid burning down my throat made me feel good. It made me forget, everything. It made me the person I wanted to be. I was almost done with the bottle when Finn grabbed it out of my hands, which made me spill some on myself. He grabbed the cap and put it on the floor.

"What was that for?"

"I like it when my girlfriend is sober."

"I am sober."

I knew I was starting to slur my words. Frustrated I grabbed my pants, and took out my pack of Marlboros, taking a cigarette out, and lighting it up with my lighter on my nightstand. I took a few puffs before Finn, once again, snatched it out of my hand, put it out, and put it in my ash tray.

"What's your problem man?!"

"My problem is, is that you're always smoking! It's not good for you, it's gonna kill you."

"It's just a cigarette Finn!"

"Yeah, it's always just a cigarette until you're smoking a pack a day."
He said pointing at the empty packs on my floor.

"I'm okay, I can breathe."

"Smoking kills."

"We all die eventually."

"You're intoxicated all the time."

"I just know how to have fun baby."

He grabbed my legs and pulled me down so we were at eye level.

"You gotta stop it baby."

"I know...."

"So do something, i will help you, we can do it together. You gotta try for me, and I'll try for you."

"Okay."

"It worries me. If you don't stop now, then I might not get to marry you."
We both giggled, knowing that we both wanted to get married to eachother.

"And we might not get to have kids together.... or grow old together."
As he continued, tears started to well up in my eyes.

I knew he was right. I had a problem. I needed to stop.

"Let's clean this place up, and maybe-maybe you can move in with me, and get you outta this dump."

"I'd like that... a lot."

"Let's start our lives together. Let's leave all this shit in the past. I know it's going to be hard But, I will be there for you, every step of the way, okay?"

"Okay"
I said giggling like a fifth grader around their crush.

I knew Finn genuinely wanted to help me. And I was willing to let him help me, and I was willing to quit, for him, and for myself.

He crawled out of bed, and pulled me up by my arms. And walked us over to the shower. He undressed me, in the most nonsexual way, turned the water on and helped me in. Once we were under the water, he shampooed my hair, the lovely smell of peony and coconut filling my nose. And he gently scrubbed my head, and I scrubbed his. He held me under the water, hugging me, not letting go, and we just let the water run down our bodies.

When we were done we got dressed, and we cleaned. We got trash bags, and threw away all the empty bottles of liquor, all the empty cigarette packets, all the garbage that accumulated during my depressive states. I even threw away the new cigarette packet, that wasn't even halfway done. And yeah, it hurt. But I needed this change. We changed my sheets, we did my laundry, we vacuumed and we mopped. When we were done, I felt the load on my back being lifted.

"Thank you Finn, you're so good to me, i don't deserve you."

"Don't say that, baby. I love you too much, and it hurts me to see you like this. That's why we're going to change for the better."

"I'm scared."
I wrapped my arms around his torso and placed my head in his chest.

"Me too, but, we can do it."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And for moments, we just stood there, embracing eachother, loving one another. He is my hero. He is my savior. He saved me, and he loved me enough, to try and help me. And for that, I will always love him. I leaned up, and kissed his lips, gently, and I pulled away, smiling.

We packed up all my stuff, and Finn helped me move it to his much nicer apartment. We were able to unpack all of it. He made room for my clothes in his closet and in his drawers. And he even let me choose what side of the bed I wanted to sleep on. By the time we finished it was night time, so we ordered some Chinese food, and watched a movie.

I was going to change. I want to change. I need to change. I need finn to help me, because he's helped me through everything already, and he was so open to help me. I was ready to start a new chapter in my life. One without drugs or alcohol, I would replace all that with my Finnie. Because he truly loved me, or else he wouldn't of done all this for me. I looked over at him on the couch, and I just admired him. That was the man I loved.

Unedited
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This was inspired by the show Skins, it's on Netflix, and I definitely recommend it. 6K reads. Literally madness luv xx. Anyways, extremely grateful for all the support I've gotten, for all the votes and the funny ass comments. Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I love you all.

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