You Are So Loved! | Good Omens - Ineffable Husbands Fic

likewise

Crowley's fingers grip the steering wheel as he drives, and his eyes seem to grip the dotted lines of the road too. He's getting discouraged by the silence once again, but finally, Aziraphale flips through a few more pages, only skimming them for a moment, before turning to Crowley.

He closes the book, sets it down on his lap and says in the softest voice: "Crowley, this is so incredibly beautiful. Surely, you don't want me to have it, you should keep it!"

Crowley just makes a face at first. He doesn't look angry, really, maybe just disappointed in himself? He grabs the book from Aziraphale, not in an exactly harsh way. But his insecurity takes over, and he gripes "If you don't want it, just say so."

For the millionth time in the past twenty-four hours, Aziraphale gets confused all over again. "Dear..." he cautiously places a hand of comfort on Crowley's arm as he drove, but is soon stuck in an anxious ramble as he tries to explain himself. "It's just so lovely, I can't see why you would ever want to let someone else have it! All the work you put into it, and I can't imagine how long it took to press those and the research you--how long it must have taken to--"

His dedicated driver cuts him off this time, a tone in his voice that the angel could not place. Maybe it was softer, maybe it was disappointed, or possibly even relieved. But his actual words hit Aziraphale like a truck. "I don't want it, I made it for you, Angel! Did you want me to write your name on it? 'To Aziraphale'? I-I--" he started to stumble as he got more flustered. He stopped, he sighed, and tried again. "Yeah, it took me a long time, but it's not that great anyways so just take it, if you like it so much!"

Aziraphale is just quiet for several beats, the truth of the demon's words hang in the air suspended between them until the consonants become stale. Until he bursts out, finally letting the reality sink in..."For me? For me!"

Once it finally hits him, for lack of better words, Aziraphale dies inside.

The actual realization of how thoughtful this was of Crowley. Of the care, time, and energy he put into it. He wants today's events and Crowley's actions to click in some part of his brain that will give him hope. He knows there's a key somewhere to fit into the door he wants so badly to open, but there's a brick wall of doubt and fear right in front of it. Or is there a key? Or is the key to a completely different metaphorical door? Aziraphale sinks back into the car's seat, and he's waiting for things in his brain to mean something--anything! But the thud of his heart is too loud to think and the war of hope, reality, and fear are battling in his head. So nothing makes sense. But he knows the happiness and love rising up in his chest is too much to surpress.

Which is why he continues to express his delighted shock and appreciation the rest of the way home, often also bringing up all the little bits of details he loves that jump at him from the pages. The stars doodled in some corners, ink vines lining the frames of others, and even the texture of the cover and how such an excellent choice it was of him.

At first, this is all responded to with a wave of Crowley's hand, and a playful "Oh, shut it, will you?" Which his passenger just replied to with "No, really!" before continuing. But eventually, all of the little compliments and the attention his partner paid to the gift just pulled and pulled at the corner's of his mouth until he was smiling cheek to cheek, occasionally turning away from Aziraphale to keep him from seeing how happy it really was making his heart.

Crowley couldn't help but wonder how differently he might have responded had he given his best friend the gift all the weeks prior. He knew that it was the perfect way to end the perfect day they just had together, and was more than satisfied at the timing. He knew that it all lead up to his angel's happiness. And the perfect day, was in fact, ending perfectly.