You Are So Loved! | Good Omens - Ineffable Husbands Fic

meanwhile

Aziraphale was left in his shop, without an appetite, a list running through his head of every person he's run into in the 6,000 years he's spent on Earth. Sure, he'd like to think he really was as loved as the new-to-Earth angel felt he was, but he just couldn't see how it could be so. And he, more than anyone, knew that this love couldn't have come from Heaven.

His mind kept travelling back to Crowley as a suspect, but he knew it was just wishful thinking. Aziraphale had known Crowley to be someone that liked what he liked and got what he wanted. Crowley, he also knew, disliked being alone, and wanted someone he could talk to. No matter what it be about, and no matter who it to be, as long as they listened to whatever he had to say. And Aziraphale was a very good listener. Surely that's what all his little favors and such were for--to keep the angel holding on just enough to not leave him alone, and also why his "do something or I'll never speak to you again" threat was so useful. Or at least, this is what Aziraphale told himself to keep from getting his own hopes up.

When his mind wandered back to this possibility for a sixth time, he cut himself off and thought Oh, who am I kidding? Crowley is a demon, a being incapable of love. What a silly thing to suspect.

But then, he tilted his head in thought, and reminded himself He has, however, been quite...different since the end of the world didn't end. More dinners, less mocking... But, Aziraphale saw where this was going, and stopped himself once again, refusing to get his hopes up. A demon. A demon! He couldn't seriously be trying to convince himself of such a thing.

The thought of him being loved, and the possibilites of which humans have loved him had his mind busy for the rest of the night. By the next morning, his brain was getting fried and he was just about ready to give up. He wrote down a list of every person who he had helped or known well starting with Adam and Eve, ending with Madam Tracy and Shadwell. Most of them were marked out anyways after not being considered reasonable possibilities. But now, looking at it in the light of the morning, he felt ridiculous. So he folded the paper in fourths and stuck it in the top drawer of his desk.