My Wife, My Man?

Chapter Forty-eight

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken." C. S. Lewis

"I'm tired, I'm just... Tired of all this. I tried, and you know it, but now, I'm tired of trying." His words were a playback in her mind, paralyzing her in the one spot he had left her in. Her eyes were closed because she hoped all this was some sort of dream. It must have been because everything felt a blur, yet the pain in her heart told her it wasn't.

It must have been hours since he left her there, hogging her knees and drowning in tears. Yes, it must have been hours, yet his words still hurt her the same way they did the first time he had spoken them. He had penetrated her heart with his harsh words.

"I was such an idiot!" His tone was low but sharper than any knife. "Such an idiot, to ever expect a little love from you! To read too much into your gestures and see light where there was none! And here I thought you were actually growing to love me! Such a fool, such a big fool I was!

"Why didn't you just leave?! Why?! If it was more money that you wanted, I would have gladly given it to you! A lot of it because I felt something for you that had more value than money. But you stayed. Just to deepen the wounds you had already created! Just so that you can..."

His words had cut her deeply, creating a wound in her heart that she doubted would ever heal. How could he say such a thing about her? How could he think that she would stoop so low? She wasn't that type of woman! She couldn't hurt him like that, never!

But he wasn't ready to listen to her, not to a single word she had to say. She didn't know how she could ever fix things with him. She didn't know what to do.

Somehow, through her endless thoughts and cries, she had fallen asleep. She didn't know when or how she had fallen asleep, nor how she had gotten the strength to even get on the bed, but what she was sure of was that even in her dreams, his words made her relive the day repeatedly. It became a nightmare that she was only freed from by a gentle shake. When her eyes slowly flung open, it was the look of worry on Maggie's face that had caught her attention. She didn't have to look in the mirror to know in what mess her face might have been.

She sat up. Even after sleeping, she felt no better than she did the day before. She still felt sad. "Jack?" Her tired eyes met Maggie's.

There was sadness in Maggie's eyes as she shook her head and said, "He hasn't returned since yesterday."

A single tear ran down Perli's face. "Maggie, I need to fix this. I need to do something Maggie, I need to—" She didn't have the courage to finish her sentence.

"Perli, just give him some time, he is angry right now so..."

"No, Maggie." She shook her head, her mind crushing her with thoughts that made her feel like she was going insane. "Things would only get worse; he doesn't even want to listen to what I have to say... I need to fix this now, I—" she paused as a thought ran through her head. "I know what I must do."

~•♡•~

Perli banged a fist against the door.

"Matthew!" she impatiently and angrily called his name. She knew she was not supposed to come, but something compelled her to. She needed to sort everything out and make things right before they got worse. At least, that is what she told herself as she drove to his house.

"Matthew!" At that call, she had banged her palm against the door, not caring how much it hurt her. She was getting that anxious feeling, the same one she felt when Jack handed her the envelope. It slowly travelled down her system and settled down in her lower abdomen. It made her feel nauseous, rotating her stomach in all the wrong directions.