Hello Goodbye

Twenty Nine

Kwon Hyuk

"Have a great day, Sir." An immigration officer gave back my passport and I nodded. I woke up this morning with cold sweat, terrible nightmare haunted me as soon as I'm trying to get back to sleep. Yuri's death, she already buried 6th feet while I haven't seen her. I didn't even had chance to meet her, it can't be. She can't just leave me like that, I need to see her.

Do I still love her?

I don't know, to be honest.. Love, feeling or any personal problem aren't on my list, I already stress enough thinking about work. But somehow I can't just sit and do nothing while I know the fact that Yuri actually dying, Godammit. I'm here right in California not because his father's offer, I might not get married with her, but I do care with her condition. Whatever the result, I need to meet her first and we will plan anything later on.

After 11 hours flying from another continent, I arrived at LAX airport at 9 in the morning, not bothering to drop my luggage to hotel near the hospital. I will do that shit later, I already wait long enough to arrive there. After her dad came last evening I can't find flight on the same day so I need to wait for next day, I won't waste more fucking time.

Mr. Kwon, please call me when you read this message.

I sighed as soon as I turned my phone on and read message from Kwanghee, my General Manager. I can't thinking straight, I will deal with it later. After put my phone back in my pocket, I called taxi.

---

Yuri must be alone right now, her dad is still in Korea, she doesn't have siblings and her mom dead since she was ten years old. She might act like spoiled girl but she hates being weak, I'm sure she will kick me out as soon as she saw me.

Room 91.

It's hers. I wanted to barge in but it's not a nice way to start, moreover to someone that you deliberately avoid for the past month. So, I decide to knock.

After few knocks, I could hear her voice, telling whoever she thought to come in. As expected, in the big hospital room, no one here except Yuri herself, she was busy drawing on sketch desk that I know for sure it prepared by her special request, so she still can draw while on the bed. She hasn't seen me as she keep busy drawing.

"It's not the time to take medicine, though." She said casually then she looked up, our eyes meet.

She looked so pale and thinner, but it doesn't stop her to glare at me. Her fiery gaze could be meaning to tell me to go fuck myself and she's done with me. I know for sure she will not be civil at me.

I still stand few meters from her, haven't said anything because I don't fucking know what I should say.

"Dad already told you, I see." She stated, slamming her pencil on the desk and fold her hands in front of her chest.

I nodded, confirm her statement.

"Did you feel pity on me? That's why you flew from Korea to here?" she snorted.

"I'm worried about you." I didn't even lie when I said that. I care for her, I do.

"Mr. Kwon, I'm honored. But as you can see now, I'm fine, so please leave me alone." She gestured me to go, "you know where the door, aren't you?"

"Yuri.." I took few steps closer.

"Go away or I will call nurse, you disturb my free time." She threatened, instead of anger, her voice croaked because she tried her best to not cry. I know her, she doesn't want my pity. After all her begging to not cancel the wedding and I still on my decision, it must've been hurt her heart and her ego.

"Ten minutes. Give me ten minutes and I will say what I need to say." I tried to negotiate, there's no use to force her.

"Why do I have to listen to you?" she challenged me.

"You actually don't need to, but it's me.. I need to talk to you." I pleaded, I don't even care how desperate I looked right now. I want her to be healed, stay healthy and alive. I don't want to lose anyone again in my life.

She consider it, at least.  I take my chance to walk closer to where she is.

"Ten minutes, nothing more." She finally said and I won't wasting my chance.

"I know you're sick, your dad told me everything yesterday. I won't sugar coating anything, I just want to come clean to you.. he offered me to pay my project expense and penalty in exchange to marry you.." I tried to make it fast so it could fit that ten fucking minutes, but I noticed her reaction as I mentioned her dad's offer, "but don't get him wrong, I understand his feeling. He just wants you to be happy..." I added, didn't want more drama. I needed to be honest with her, I don't want add more mistake.

She didn't say anything but keep looking at me, silently tell me to continue.

"I will marry you, but not because his offer. I won't take it, you know I'm not that shallow, exchanging my life with money and power. I will marry you, because I don't want you suffer alone. I will sign prenup if you worry I won't keep my promise, just let me be on your side.." months ago, I asked her to marry me and it was so stressing me out but I knew she will say yes at the end. And today I did it again but I was more desperate than before. Because I know she will reject me, no matter what I will say.

"I don't want it."

"Yuri, please.."

"I don't want to get married anymore. Why would I get married if in the end I will die anyway? Leaving you alone with such a pathetic title as a widow?" she looked at me, blinking few tear drops.

"I can be selfish but I don't want to." She shook her head weakly, "look at you now, so desperate and full of pity on me. I don't want it, not from you or anyone. Everyone will die anyway, it's just mine will be sooner. What's the difference?" she forced a smile.

"You will recover, you will." I took her hand and squeezed them gently, glad she didn't reject it.

She cast down one's eyes, "I'm scared." She still didn't look at me, but I know she's crying now.

I embraced her in my hug

"Me too, but we will get through it." It was mixed feeling, I don't know the answer if you asked me I love her or not, but I can give you a solid answer that I'm really care for her and I want her to back like she used to.

"This shall too pass." I hug her tighter. If she let me be on her side, I will take it. I don't need anyone to approve my decision, we will do the wedding here right now and fly back and forth from LA to Korea will be my own agenda from now on.

"What will happen to daddy if I'm gone? I don't want him to be sad and suffer, I can't bear it." She was sobbing, she and her dad have been through anything together since her mom died. Two of them only have each other, I can imagine how fuck up her dad if Yuri—

"Nothing will happen to you dad, you will recover.." I lifted her head to meet me, "you will recover, Yuri. You will."

"I don't know if I could, it's exhausting." She cried harder in my embrace.

And none of us said a single word while we keep each other in embrace.