Breakups. (Troyler Fanfic.)

Mini Chapter.

"We're living in a heartbreak dream." Heartbreak Dream // Betty Who.

Troyes POV. 

Drowning, that's the best way I could describe this. The way I'm finding it hard to breathe and how everything is collapsing onto me like the water lapses over a body floating down. I've simply been treading water too long that my legs are so tired they gave under my own weight and now my lungs are collapsing as I forget how to swim. There is no more flailing of arms, giving signs, and hoping for the best; it's simply just over and I give in to the water because it's so much stronger than me and I am so tired of fighting a hopeless battle. 

So, there is no point to act like I care because I have no right too. Tyler is my best friend and he couldn't give one fuck if my heart beats faster when I'm around him or how easily butterflies escape when I'm with him or the way my tummy does flips an Olympics winner couldn't achieve and he shouldn't have to care. Best friends don't fawn over each other or cuddle or kiss on top of Ferris wheels like we do and I'm tired of acting like casual best friends when what we are doing is so much more than that and the way I feel for him is not how I feel for Connor or Blessing or anybody else.  

But Tyler is obviously either oblivious as hell or just doesn't care, probably both. That's why he is still talking to fucking Luke and how he ignored what I knew was the sadness on my face after that stupid kiss because I knew he still wasn't mine and he wasn't going to be. Simply because why would he choose lanky, awkward, Troye when he could have a strong adorable baseball player that didn't make things so fucking complicated? 

I might still be young and ignorant but I know when I'm not wanted. I can take a hint, at least. 

All this anger is just now flowing out of me like a raging waterfall now that I'm all alone, leaning on this stupid gate while Tyler acts like nothing happened on a stupid ride. Why did I even decide to go here with him? Oh yeah, I remember. Because it's Tyler and I'll do whatever he wants me too. Exactly the reason I acted like I didn't give a shit that he was still talking to Luke and how I acted like my anxiety wasn't slowly exploding inside me as I physically saw him silently regretting this whole thing with me and how I acted like it didn't hurt when I reached out to him again and he pushed me away like he was out from the beginning to leave me in the cold, shivering with hunger pains. 

Maybe, Tyler wouldn't even mean to hu-

"Troye," I jump away from the unknown person when I randomly hear somebody calling my name and lightly pulling on my shirt, yanking me out of my thoughts like I was a disobedient dog. After the initial shock, I notice the voice as non other than the voice of the same boy I just spent all my time thinking about.

"What?" I snap, pushing his hand away from me. I immediately regret it, watching him step back and shrink down into himself, a frown spreading onto his face. 

"Sorry, I was just trying to get your attention. You wouldn't answer me," He says quietly, cautiously looking up at me through his eyelashes. I cursed myself when my first thought was at how adorable he was. 

I sigh, knowing it was impossible to be rude to him even when he was skipping over my heart like it was a yellow brick road, "It's okay. You just scared me." I stare at my shoes, hearing him move beside me to stand on the gate with me. 

"What do you want, Tyler?" I sigh out while looking the opposite direction, not focused on anything in particular, just staring into the fuzziness trying to read him without looking at him. I knew with just a look from him, I could break.

I regret this decision only seconds after it was made when I hear, or maybe even imagine, the quietest voice Tyler has ever used in my presence. I knew I wasn't supposed to hear it but that didn't stop my stomach from flipping and my mind to start racing when Tyler speaks. 

"You, preferably."

I'm so, so sorry this is so short after I made you wait so long. I've never went this long without updating but this is all I could write tonight and I obviously really needed to update but I'll make it up to you by making the next chapter extra extra long and I'm starting on it right now. I feel so bad but I've been so busy and I just hadn't had the motivation to write because I'm either super sad or super tired because I'm so busy. It doesn't help that a social life has randomly sprung upon me and I went to a concert and etc etc etc. Enough excuses, I'll make it up to you. I love you guys to death and I will see you all soon, actually this time. 

slay ya slayter. 

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