Loyal till the end ➢Gellert Grindelwald X Reader

Chapter 18 ➛Shadow Talks

Once I woke from a fresh few hours of sleep, I felt calm for the first time since the previous night.

I was safe. I was protected. I was loved.

I was innocent.

When the words entered my mind, emotions started to flood inside of me. 

Was I truly innocent? Hadn't I committed terrible sins that might've escaped my eye? 

I heaved a sigh and buried my face in the palms of my hands. Was this never going to end? Would my life be like this until the end of my days? Filled with insecurities and terrible events? If so, I wouldn't really mind it to end early. I was not interested in a life filled with unhappiness. When was my deserved happy-ending going to arrive?

I had come to believe that I had been cursed ever since I was a child. Cursed to never feel true happiness without the universe trying to destroy me.

And now, it looked like I had received a confirmation of that belief. 

My mind drifted off to the note I had found earlier and I felt a knot form in my stomach.  

'Enjoy your life, while you still can.' That was what it had said. But this ominous message could mean two things:

I was going to get killed by some paranoid guy, who I had apparently, caused pain, one way or another, and now I had become the victim of their vengeance. Or, someone would make my life so miserable, I would actually be better off dead. 

Either way, my life wouldn't magically improve out of the blue. If there truly was someone after me to destroy my happiness, then I had no power at all to stop them. I didn't even know who they were.

Lately, I had been experiencing numbness whenever I was alone. Sometimes I cried until my feelings had faded and all I felt was a pit where they used to be. Just an empty pit.   

This made me feel like I was losing control over myself. Like I was about to tumble down an endless road of darkness.

I've been tried to convince myself more than once that my moment of happiness would come eventually, but I was starting to doubt that. After every single bad thing that had happened, it felt like just another piece broke off of my already shattered heart. 

But I had managed to grasp something that gave me hope. And hope was something I desperately needed if I wanted to regain my will to continue living. 

I glanced up at Grindelwald and smiled shyly. He was the one giving me hope. No matter how little, hope could always get me through anything. And besides that, he also made the feeling of loneliness fade, no matter how little. 

I leaned on my elbow and took a minute to examine him with a small smile. His hair wasn't standing upright like it used to do. Instead, it had been kind of flattened which looked a little strange, but not unfamiliar. I grinned and placed my hand on his which was resting on my waist. 

His breath hitched in his throat and he slowly opened his eyes. I smiled the entire time as I let him take his time to fight the disorientation. First, he glanced curtly at the window before turning to me.

He noticed my smile in the light of the upcoming sun and returned it with one of his own. 

''Have you slept alright, darling?'' he asked slowly, stroking my hair carefully. ''I did, actually. I didn't have any nightmares, thanks to you.'' My smile widened and I lay back down on the pillow keeping my gaze fixed on him. 

He grinned broadly. ''So I'll take that I've managed to achieve the impossible?''

I raised an eyebrow and watched him questioningly with a small smile of confusion.