Loyal till the end ➢Gellert Grindelwald X Reader

Chapter 6 ➛Nightmares

That night was the worst in my life. 

I knew it hadn't meant anything, so why was this affecting me so badly? I knew it could never happen, I shouldn't have done it in the first place.

Night had come and I lay motionless in bed staring up at the ceiling. 

This day had been the worst since I joined the Greater Good. 

My heart broke when he said earlier today that we'd better forget about the kiss.

I knew my fantasies would never become reality, but right then, when I was kissing him, I felt hope. Hope that he might love me back. But, of course, he doesn't.

A silent tear slid down my cheek. I had never had a broken heart before. At least not like this. When my family passed away it was different. Now I felt empty and hollow, my chest ached and I couldn't stop crying.

''If this is love, I don't want to have anything to do with it,'' I whispered silently.

There weren't many people left who cared about me. So I take it when it comes. Eventually, I would use them to get what I want. That's what love was, wasn't it? I hated to admit it, but it always made me feel more certain about myself when I could tell someone cared about me.

I had felt alone for so long that I wasn't even sure what it felt like to be loved anymore. My feelings had become a blur. Mostly a negative blur. I was alone in the world. Alone with my feelings of doubt and hate.

I was a difficult and complex person. My mind was often something I didn't even understand myself. 

I had so much hate inside of me, so much thirst for revenge. People had taken my ability to love, or so I thought.

My strategy had always been the same; never choose a side, do what is best for yourself, hurt everyone you need to accomplish your goals and never, and then I mean never, create a weakness.

Love was the best-known weakness existing. I hadn't really loved someone but Owyn for a long time, but then Grindelwald appeared. 

A caring and handsome man who I thought cared about me. A man that showed me my ability to love wasn't destroyed yet.

But then I found out I loved the wrong person. I shouldn't have loved him. It brought me pain and agony. That's all love does.

I rolled onto my shoulder and sobbed softly.

I hadn't expected it to happen, but after some time I drifted off to sleep.

It was a sunny day and I was walking through the corridors of Nurmengard. Not really having a destination in mind, I decided to go to the owlery and visit Owyn.

Before I had the chance to climb the stairs to the tower where the owlery was located, I froze when I heard a voice behind me. ''You look good, (Y/N).''

I trembled visibly. ''That's not possible,'' I said to myself as hot tears stung my eyes. ''I'm here, though,'' the voice said.

I turned around and stared at my father who stood leaning against a wall near me. ''Dad?'' I asked, my throat dry. 

''Yes, sweetie. It's me,'' he said opening his arms to me. I ran toward him and jumped into his embrace.

''I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm so sorry I was the only one to escape...''

''You weren't,'' he whispered barely audible. I retreated and watched him quizzically. ''What do you mean?'' I asked confused. He sighed and leaned back against the wall. ''You weren't the only one to escape the fire,'' he said again.