In her youth, there are a lot of bells ringing. The doctor, lawyer, writer, and musician are asking for her hand, but she is confused and cannot take any decision. Inside her, she believes that what people call "soul mate" will come soon. Who does not want her? Her heart is full of kindness and love. She has an orange hair color ripples under the sun, drop-down on her colorful scarf. She has scarves of about forty, and that was her addiction. Not only her skin is white as milk, but her heart has also absorbed the whiteness, the color of peace, and only peace inside her. She completed her studies with distinction in one of the city's universities and then returned to the village to keep the minds of her students learning what she had learned throughout her life. She was not like any other teacher, pouring information over our brains like lead, but she was interested in our understanding of information. It was not limited to that but also she was responding to all our questions patiently not implemented, but other teachers were scolding us when we ask many questions.
One day she came to me full of tears, and her wailing has risen above the roof of our house. My concern was clear on my face, and my heart had preceded the cheetah in the race. I tried to ask her, so I might know what made her cry that much, but the wailing has swallowed up the rest of her voice. She cried for an hour and I hugged her helplessly. She took a deep breath and said: Forgive me. She repeated "forgive me" eleven times which I counted it since I waited too long for her to talk.
-I forgive you; there is no need to cry because I can never be mad at you.
-But this is different. I know that this will be difficult for you, and I will be the cause of a new pain to you, and no one will heal your wounds except your grandmother, because I am...
-Stop saying this, and tell me what is going on, I just want to know and I would not be sad.
-I found my other half.
I laughed
-Oh, now I understand. You think that your husband will be taking all your time, and we will not be able to meet each other every day, the way we always used to. It is not a problem, in the end, this will happen whether I agreed or not. Who would have the chance to take you as his wife and would say no to that!
Again I laughed
-It is not like that. I will leave forever, I will go far away, and I might never see you again.
-What? How? Why?
I began to sigh.
Actually, there is a guy who asked for my hand who is one year older than me and he works in one of the companies in Germany. I liked him very much, but I could not accept immediately, because if I accept it means that I will move to Germany and it will be difficult for me to come to see you. I think you know him or heard about him, he is the son of my neighbor Salwa. He was looking for a wife for him, his financial status is stable, he has an apartment, and what any girl wants more, other than he is a gentleman. I think that he is a good person, through the two weeks I got to know him very closely. I am not the only one who thinks that about him, the girls who are in my neighborhood keep telling me how lucky I am. In fact, I do not know if I am really lucky, I think it is a curse or a challenge between life and death, so how would I leave you and go away!
I cannot take you with me, he says it will be difficult for you, to get used to living there and you are at this age. Especially that you are at school, so you will miss a whole year in learning German and you may not like the German life. I know how much you are adhering to Palestinian customs and culture, and your obsession with our bread, oil, and thyme. Oh God, how much I will miss everything here.
-Why don't you let him sell the apartment in Germany, and live together in your house here, this way you will not have to leave?
- It is difficult because he built his life, his job and his future in that country. That place has become a part of him, and it will be difficult for him to get used to life here.
-I am sorry because I am being selfish.
-No, no there is no need to apologize. I was to you as a mother; I don't know a mother who would let her kid and go! I am sorry I didn't mean...
