𝐓𝐎 : 𝐘𝐎𝐔✉︎

✉️02 - to : jeongguk

— 1313 Rosefield Ave 54321 —
To : Jeongguk
From : Lilian

Hi. It's Lilian...Again. I had another dream about you, it was nice. I find myself dreaming about you more often than I should, but they're good dreams. Happy dreams. Dreams about you are never bad for me. I only have ones that bring tears of happiness and smiles of joy to my face when i think of them.

When I think of you.

I can't help but think about all the times I've written my letters..I want, and I miss, sharing my happiness with you. There was never a dull moment where I felt that we were drifting, or distant.

You probably felt like I was being distant though. I wouldn't blame you for feeling like shit after the way I left you. And there's so much I want to explain and to tell you. I want to tell you that it wasn't your fault that I left, and that I only staged it that way to hide my insecurities. I just felt that if I hid them and faked it, you wouldn't think I was pathetic.

I thought I could be strong.

But right when I finished the call with you over the phone, I cried. So, so, so, much. I cried until I couldn't anymore, until my breathing felt like suffocating, till my lips trembled from the pain.

I'm so sorry jeongguk.

I never meant to pain you in the way I did, to scar your soul of love to the point where it hurt to even see a picture of me. I bet you've already deleted all the photos of us, and I bet you threw away all the frames of us.

It's okay.

To hate me. To never want to see me again. It's okay. I'm okay with that. I just hope that you find a woman who suits you and who doesn't feel the need to walk away from her problems and leave the man she loves for issues that she's too hurt to fix.

I just want you to know that I love you. And you deserve only the best in life. I haven't forgotten about you. I could never. Because you're just so amazing. Sweet, caring, understanding.

Things that make me realize how lucky I was to have met you the way I did. To meet you right when my world was crashing down, when I felt almost suicidal at that point.

Thank you.

Okay..I'm ending this letter for now.

i love you 3000 jeongguk.

— lily