Color of My Pain

7| Silver

The way Hobi was sleeping was uncomfortable by any account and he awoke halfway through the night to a maybe pulsing in his limbs and a lavender hurricane in his brain. Agile as a cat, Hobi stretched out and and slunk upstairs, away from the snoring couple on the couch.

A cursory glance out the window revealed that their parents were home, revealing how truly late it was. He closed the door and made himself at home beneath the covers of Namjoon's bed. It being familiar as his own, he was able to feel sleepy again quickly. (Namseok is completely platonic hush y'all)

"Hey. I really hope your okay tonight baby. I know I'm not the only one who's sore. I love you." He whispered into the dark. "Stay strong for me."

As if in understanding, the worry receded. Hobi listened intently, straining his ears, as if maybe, just maybe, he could hear a response. He did get a response, long after he'd fallen asleep. It wasn't one he would've liked. And had he been aware, he would've fought tooth and nail to be by his baby's side.

*Trigger Warning*

"I'm so sorry." Yoongi sobbed out. At nearly four in the morning, he was more than sure his soulmate and Dad were both sleeping.

He could only speculate on the waves of fear and worry that would roll into his mind, but he was so desperate. He just wanted to see why he was so unlovable. Why did his Dad hate him so much? Yoongi had never been given a reason for his beatings. None of them were accompanied by shouting and raging, the kind where all of your perceived faults are outlined in agonizing detail. There was nothing to hint at what Yoongi's dad wanted improved. It was only pain. Pain that disappeared.

The silver of the box cutter shone white in the moonlight. It danced across his skin, in the hidden places invisible to the naked eye. The silver streaks of pain streaked beneath his skin as the marks welled with the crimson of his blood.

He stopped. He put the blade away and cleaned the blood from his leg. He crept into his bedroom and crawled beneath the heavy coverlet, curling into a fetal position in hopes of feeling grounded. In hopes of feeling less alone.

Hobi awoke feeling refreshed. Singing birds, frying bacon -- the whole bit. He crept downstairs in his pajamas to find their mess mysteriously cleaned up. Namjin still slept in each other's arms. Smiling, he quietly greeted Namjoon's parents and sipped from the mug of coffee set before him.

"When did you go upstairs?" Mrs. Kim hummed.

"When the chair arms started digging into my back." He laughed.

Joon's parents chuckled along. Mrs. Kim slid a plate of eggs and bacon to her husband and then a plate of waffles to Hobi. They thanked her and began stuffing their faces. Namjoon and his dad were both helpless in the kitchen, but the same couldn't be said for Joon's mom.

They woke up the sleepy soulmates and everyone pitched in to finish setting up food and putting out chairs. Hoseok's parents came early, as well as Seokjin's. There was practically a pre-party party. The company made Hobi feel light and he pushed the unpleasant thoughts of last night into the back of his mind.  Hobi watched Joon and Jin in the midst of the chaos. The arriving guests all had to be greeted. Introductions and handshakes and jokes were exchanged endlessly. It looked exhausting.

But at such moments, Namjoon would squeeze Jin's hand, absently seeking comfort while simultaneously dealing it out. And Jin in turn would hug Joon from behind.

"Hoseok!" The latter addressed him. "Jin wants you to meet his family too."

"Why? I'm not his soulmate." Hobi joked nervously.

"Hobes. Please. They're making me nervous, I need air support." Namjoon pleaded.

Groaning, Hobi complied, leaving the safety and solitude of his corner to mingle for his friend's sake. Through the hubbub, only Hoseok heard a light knock at the door.

"Hello?"

"I'm looking for the Kim residence. I'm assuming it is such from the balloons." A man who looked to be his parents age stood on the other side. His dark hair was combed off his forehead and he wore a smart button up with creased dress pants.

"Ah, yes. Come in."

"Thank you, young man. Do you happen to be my nephew's beloved?"

"Jin's-- no. I'm Namjoon's best friend." He explained.

"Oh. Well can you help me find them, I'd like to meet him."

"Of course sir. Um, I think they're this way."

Awkwardly, Hoseok led the man through the press of people to Namjin's side. He felt that something about this man was off. He spoke very formally and he seemed very quiet. Also uncomfortable. His eyes seemed heavy with repressed sorrow.

"Uncle Minhyuk!" Jin called. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world Jin. Mr. Kim, I presume?"

Namjoon's eyes widened slightly at the formality, but recovered quickly. "Namjoon is fine, please. It's so nice to meet you.

Jin's uncle leaned over, winking. "I like this one. Keep him."

Jin laughed with his uncle and Namjoon smiled. He seemed relieved at his overall welcome into Seokjin's family.

"Have you met your soulmate yet, Hoseok?"

Hobi realized that he'd been both introduced and addressed. "Oh. No. Not yet. I'm waiting for graduation to go find him."

"Oh, how responsible."

Hobi didn't think that was a compliment, but Jin interrupted before he could wonder that aloud.

"Uncle Minhyuk? Tell us about your soulmate." Jin spoke gently.

Uncle Minhyuk looked suddenly sad. "Jin. He was everything I wanted. But I wasn't what he wanted. He adamantly protested. Said it was a mistake. He could never meet with a guy. He was extremely homophobic."

Jin looked down with a small 'oh'.

"As I understand, he had a son with someone and raised him alone. He would be about your age too. I've never had the pleasure to meet him."

"Does it hurt more now?"

"No, it's very much the same. I tend to avoid painful situations. Jooheon endures enough for the both of us."