Sin (BoyxBoy) (Ziam)

Yielding

      I was already broken. How could any more damage be possible?

     When I looked at Liam, I understood.

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      I sat down across from Louis at the lunch table, but my mind was elsewhere. I searched around the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of familiar brown hair and eyes.

     I couldn't sleep last night. All I could think about was Liam and whether or not he was okay. I needed to be sure he didn't have another attack. I needed to hear his opinion about me leaving my jacket there. Did he understand what I was trying to say with that action?

     I didn't think he did because he wasn't here. Or maybe he did, but he didn't want it. Maybe he just tossed it aside as his own personal message.

    "Looking for Liam?" I heard Louis ask, and I focused on him, thinking about denying it, but there was no use. I told him quite a bit about Liam yesterday, and there wasn't anyone else I could have been looking for. Obviously, Louis knew more than I thought.

     "I know that he came to school today." I've seen him in several classes, but he seemed to make it his mission to avoid me today. He wouldn't even spare a glance, though I know he knew I was staring. I just wish he would yell at me instead. It would certainly sting less.

    "He's here. I've seen him several times today. But think about it, Zayn. If the whole school found out your deepest, darkest secret, would you want to show your face in the lunch room? This is literally the place where the most gossip gets spread," Louis pointed out as he spread butter onto his roll. "He's probably where he always is. Or where he always used to be."

    "Which is?" I raised an eyebrow at Louis, and he shrugged his shoulders.

    "By the fence at the back of the school. Away from all of the people who've been bombarding him with fake apologies and pity all day long. I swear, it's ridiculous. Why did it take such a huge secret being revealed for people to realize they shouldn't treat someone like shit?" Louis ranted, but I already stopped listening, standing from my seat and tossing my tray away.

     "Where are you going?" Louis asked, not even waiting for a reply before he was standing up to follow after me. He rushed up behind me as I pushed open the cafeteria doors.

     "I have to find Liam. I need to make sure he's alright."

      I noticed the confused look Louis gave me, but he didn't ask questions.

      "I don't know if that's the best idea. If he wanted to see us, he would have talked to us. I think he just needs a bit of time, Zayn. Don't forget that there was a point in time where we both treated him like shit. Regardless of our reasons, we added on to that pain he was enduring."

     "I know," I basically growled out. "Don't you think I know that?" I shot Louis a glare, but my anger wasn't directed at him at all. He seemed to understand that as he frowned slightly. "I wish I could go back and change that, but I can't. And I'm sorry I dragged you into that as well. All I can do now is try to make up for how much of a shit person I was."

     "Zayn, you never explained why you started bullying Liam in the first place. It just... happened one day. Why?"

     My body tensed. I couldn't speak because I didn't have a reply. There was no excuse for my actions, but tnere was a reason why I did it that I didn't even understand anymore. There wasn't a way to explain it to Louis without mentioning my father. Without mentioning what I allowed to happen.