Hardship

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Chapter 37:

I stepped inside of the house, and my aunt walked out of the kitchen to see me shutting the front door.

"I thought you'd be gone longer." She dried her hands on a towel as she took a step closer and stopped, standing as she awaited my response.

"Liam went to hang out with Harry. Um, Louis' boyfriend," I explained, and my aunt nodded.

"What happened to your jacket?"

"Liam doesn't have one... so I gave him mine to use." I looked down at the ground as I saw my aunt smile knowingly. I wish she wouldn't.

I kept my arms by my side, the insides hidden from her view, and I hoped that she didn't look too closely.

"That was very sweet of you, Zayn. I'm proud of you," She smiled, and then she waved the towel in the direction of the kitchen. "Now, c'mon. I'm baking cookies. Maybe you can help me."

I followed behind her into the kitchen, and she pointed at the bowl of fresh homemade cookie dough. The kitchen already smelled sweet, and I realized that she had already finished making a few of the cookies. I always loved when she baked. It reminded me of my mum.

"We're scooping them out and placing them about two inches apart. It's alright if it's not perfect." She handed me a tray that was already sprayed down, and I placed dollops of cookie dough onto it in straight lines until the whole tray was full.

She handed me another tray, and I filled it up just the same, already becoming familiar with the pattern. My aunt always loved to bake, especially on the weekends. She loved the smell of the sweet aroma filling the air.

"The oven's already been pre-heated. Just put the trays into the oven while I clean up these dishes and counters," My aunt said, pointing at the oven that was already hot. I opened it up, getting blasted by hot air, and I placed the trays into the oven before shutting it closed.

I turned to see my aunt washing the bowls she used to mix in, and I walked closer to her. I tapped the counter, debating on whether or not I should start a conversation, but I finally decided to speak up.

"Can I ask you a question?"

My aunt gave me a look before shutting off the sink and turning to me, drying her hands again on another towel.

"Of course. But let's have a seat first. It's better than standing in a hot kitchen."

I followed her out of the kitchen, and she led me down the hall and into the music room. It surprised me when she walked over and picked up her violin. There were two, and my aunt hardly played anymore. She used to play with my mum, and she played when she taught me how, but I much preferred piano.

"What do you want to talk about, love?" She asked, sitting in a chair with the violin in her hands.

I walked over to the piano, touching my hands to the keys before taking a deep breath and speaking up.

"Have you ever... liked someone you weren't supposed to like?"

I felt myself holding my breath, my chest growing tighter and tighter as they ached, but I didn't say a word. Instead, I sat in silence as my aunt tuned her violin strings. She hasn't picked it up in years.

"You mean, have I ever wanted to not like someone that I did like."

She lifted the violin between her chin and shoulder, and I listened as she played out a few notes. She still played beautifully and perfectly. Her hands were made for the strings.

"Y-yes," I whispered out after she stopped playing.

"I would say my ex," She admitted. "After things didn't work out between us, I wished that I could hate him. I wanted to not like him anymore because it hurt to like him, but I realized that would never be possible. I still care greatly for him. Even now, I think about him and hope he's doing alright. I don't love him the way I used to, but I still care for him."

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