Mistlyn

Chapter 14: My own Blood and Shard

Sitting on the ground, in the dark, I sliced my finger with the sword. The second mercury goblet captured the crimson orbs.

I grunted as the blade pinching my skin.

All I could think was Sahria was dead. She was the last person I had in the world, and she'd died all because I cut her too deep.

The cut stung and I could almost hear the sinew tearing as I sliced deeper. The tears falling onto the open wound made it burn even more.

Self-loathing boiled up in me and I worked the sword deeper into my finger. The hot blood seeped down my palm and wrist, the heat only temporary. The pain, for the moment, felt good.

"What are you doing?" hissed Cogaje. I didn't even hear him step into the room until he spoke. He lit a dim torch.

The Lizsard Prince grabbed the sword out of my hand. "Why would you do that? Don't do that!"

He smelled of iron and I noticed splotches of red over his arms and coat. I clogged my nose so I wouldn't have to smell the blood.

"I need to take the Shard out of my leg," I said.

"You don't need so much blood." Cogaje took out a handkerchief and wrapped my bloody hand in it. "Just a few drops," he said softly. He took the goblet and let thirteen drops fall into it.

"Now," he said, "Do the Shard-pulling carefully. I don't want you getting hurt or," he choked, "dying."

My chin hurt as I tried to hold back the tears. I looked away just so Cogaje wouldn't see me in the dark.

"Stay with me," I whispered. "Don't leave until I'm done."

Cogaje sat on the ground. "I won't. It'll be more painful," he said, "because you'll be awake instead of sleeping, but I'll be here for you. I won't leave."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

His words reminded me of something Sahria told me once, before our village was burned down.

I promise I'll always stay your friend, if you promise you'll never hurt me.

I crumbled on the ground and cried, holding my bleeding hand.

"No, no," Cogaje said, pulling me up. I burrowed my head into his shoulder, his body solid, even as everything else felt intangible.

"I did it," I croaked, "I did it."

"Did what?"

"I did it," I repeated, my words choppy as I tried to pull in the air to say them.

"You didn't do anything, Mistlyn," Cogaje said.

"I did, I did," I cried, "I did it." I shook Cogaje away, slapping my palms over my face. My jaws hurt from the crying, but I couldn't stop. My sobbing was heavy, my throat sore.

"I killed Sahria." I sounded cold and malevolent, even to myself.

Cogaje shifted and said nothing for a moment.

"Mistlyn," his voice was soft, like a piece of silk, "You didn't kill her." He hesitated, "She was already dying."

My head whipped up. I looked at him through blurry eyes that burned, even as I tried to blink Cogaje's face into focus. "What?" my voice was hoarse.

"Sahria, she," he swallowed visibly, "she wasn't feeling too well for a while. She," he shook his head, "She wasn't doing too well, even when he gave her medicine. Nexor even tried to help by mixing up one of his herbal remedies, but that didn't help her for too long. I don't know," he shrugged, not looking me in the eye, "She was just sick."

"She never told me anything."

"Maybe she didn't want you to worry." He looked up at me with sympathetic eyes, the edges soft, the color diluted. "She cared a lot about you, you know. She was always talking about you." His voice felt like the cascade of a soft feather against my face.

He reached over a wiped the tears running down my rounded cheeks. His scaly fingers felt smooth and warm, like warm glass, not rough like I thought it would feel.

"I want her back."

"I know you do, and we'll get her back. Get Sahria back, get my mother back, get your village back. Dinjn will do it for us."

"I hope he doesn't turn against us."

"If he does, I'll figure something out to make him do it."

I nodded and looked away. "I need to pull out the Shard. It's getting late and he'll be waiting."