First Kiss

28

Cole is back from suspension, but honestly, I think it was a good thing. His family needs him now more than ever, and he needs them. Of course, now he has a ton of homework to catch up on. I don't mind though, since he asked me to help him. We're at a cafe studying, his brow furrowed as he reads through his history chapter.

I'm guessing that he'll act completely normal once he's back at school. Like nothing has changed. He's so good at pretending it impresses me. Nobody knows what's happening in his life. And he won't let them.

"What are you thinking?" he asks. I shrug.

"I honestly think about too many things to keep track." I glance at my notes from the chemistry chapter I was working on, sighing. "I hate science. I guess that's why I let my brain wander."

He nods, tapping his pencil to the soft music in the background.

"Hey, um...so Ruiz is your understudy. Caleb Ruiz."

His eyes widen.

"He's back?" he asks, surprised.  

"Yeah," I reply. "I feel weird, acting beside someone that's not you. I think I've gotten used to you being Peter." 

And I'm Lara Jean. Your girlfriend in real life, I guess. I mean, I like him, and he likes me. We go on dates, so I guess we're official?

"Is he good?" he asks me. I nod.

"He's so good. It's like...in his blood. And it's weird because he seems like he's living in the scene. Like he's become the character. He sees it all as real." I frown, mostly in confusion. "And then...and then the teacher calls 'end scene' or something...and it's like a switch. And he's completely normal. I don't get how someone can be so good at portraying someone they're not."

Cole watches me carefully, as if he's trying to find some hidden meaning in my words. I am too. I didn't know that I thought this much about Caleb's newfound talent. 

"You make it seem like him being a good actor is a bad thing," Cole finally says. I shake my head.

"It's not that...it just scares me how much someone can be who they're not." Cole gives me a half smile.

"Everyone's an actor in one way or another until you get to know them."

Facts. Emerson, I have a lot to learn from you.

--

"So let's talk about it," Caleb says while heading to chem with me.

"What?" I ask.

"You and Emerson are official?"

I shrug.

"Yeah...I guess. I don't know. How do you know that he means it like for real?"

He rolls his eyes.

"You've been hanging out non-stop since that party."

I sigh. It's true. But he hasn't officially asked me to be his girlfriend. After that party, he gave me his hoodie (I still have it) and we talked, but we didn't get around to formalities. How does one even do this dating thing? Is there even formalities when it comes to dating?

"I wasn't planning to date anyone," I say absentmindedly. "I don't think I mind, though."

"You're so cheesy," Caleb groans. I swat him.

"We all know you're a hopeless romantic. Don't even lie."

"Doesn't mean I can't complain about your cheesiness." 

I sigh again. True.

"One day, when you start dating, you'll understand."

"Oh, so now you're an expert?" I face him, blushing, and his eyes shine with humor. 

"Man, you must really like this kid. We've only been talking about him for a minute."

"Man, shut up."

He just laughs. But he's not wrong. I really do like this kid.