Now or Never

Chapter 51 (Colby's POV)

I was locked somewhere in my own mind, drifting through memories of y/n, Sam, and my friends and family. I was happy here. Occasionally, I would get a glimpse of the outside world: dancing with random girls, bars, etc. I couldn't control it so I was hiding from it. I had tried to fight...at first but Whatever was in my mind was too strong. I could hear my voice speaking, but it wasn't me. It wasn't my words. I could see what my body was doing, but I wasn't in control. So I retreated. I retreated into my happier days. As I was lying back on the blanket at the beach, I turned towards Y/N, and took her hand. She looked so beautiful lying there, with her hair blowing in the slight breeze, the sun setting behind her. She looked over to me and smiled, then slid over, until she was against me. I put my arm around her, drawing her closer. Then she turned into someone else. Someone that I didn't know. Some woman with bright red hair, and shiny plastic looking clothes. I shoved her away from me and the scenery changed. I was no longer at the beach. Now I was somewhere that I didn't remember. A dingy little room, the same woman lying on the bed next to me. The yellow light from the lamp on the scuffed, bedside table barely lit the the room. I could see cracks in the walls and ceiling, the bathroom door open to show another female passed out on the floor. At least, I hoped that she was only passed out. Different types of drugs in baggies, and other paraphernalia lay spread across the table against the far wall. My head was hazy, like I was waking up from a deep sleep that my body wanted to retreat back into. The red haired girl on the bed climbed over me, her hair hanging down in my face. She smelled like cheap perfume and regret. "Ready to party baby?" She asked me, her voice rough from too many cigarettes. She attacked my neck with teeth and tongue, leaving marks. Then she scraped her nails down my chest, scoring it, letting her lips and tongue follow the trail. I wanted to stop her, but I couldn't control my body, or my voice. It was acting of it's own accord. My hands snaked around her back, pulling her down against me. I felt sick. I didn't want to do this. She brought her lips to mine, invading my mouth and my mouth kissed her back. I pushed against the block that was in my mind, wanting to stop this. Needing to stop this. I couldn't. She positioned herself over me, and I screamed inside my head. "NO!" The word came out of my mouth and I pushed her off of me, causing her to fall to the other side of the bed. "What am I doing here? Where am I?" I asked her, my voice frantic. I saw my clothes lying on the floor and realized that I was only in my boxers. "Oh f**k" I cried. "What did I do?" I grabbed my clothes and yanked them on, then my shoes. "Nothing yet. I thought we were about to have some fun though." The girl replied, getting off the bed and walking towards me, dressed only in a sheer red teddy. I turned my head, but not before my eyes saw everything the teddy failed to hide. I backed away from her. "No, we aren't. I have a girlfriend." She giggled, reaching her arms towards me. "That didn't bother you an hour ago at the bar, when you wanted to come back to my place." I took her hands off of me and pushed them back towards her. "Stop touching me. I don't remember what I did or didn't do. Right now, I'm not doing this." She poked her bottom lip out, pouting at me. "But we only got to enjoy some of the party favors," She motioned to all of the drugs on the table, "And almost none of the party." So I did random drugs...I don't know how much or what kind. That explains why the room won't sit still and why I can't think straight. I slipped past the girl, making my way to the door. "What the hell? You're leaving?" She yelled at me. I didn't answer, only pulled open the door to leave. As I darted out, something hit the door hard behind me and I hear her yell "Bastard!" I walked through the little house, side stepping the random people that were passed out or...was that dude shooting sh*t into his veins? Oh God, get me out of here? What the hell have I done? I sped up, trying to make my way to the the exit. "Hey bro, you leaving already?" Some guy clapped me on the shoulder, smiling at me, the alcohol on his breath reeking. I nodded. "Yeah, I gotta go. Something came up." I was freaking out but trying to stay calm. I could feel the sweat dripping down my back and forming on my forehead. "Aww, that blows. I had some more...well, blow for you." He held a baggie full of white powder up in one hand and some sort of card in the other. A credit card, maybe? I shook my head. "I'm good man. Thanks. Maybe next time." Before he could speak, I spotted the front door, and raced towards it. I yanked it open and ran down the sidewalk, not knowing where I was going, or even where I was at. I just knew that I needed to get away from that place. I needed to go home. I'm not sure how long I ran, but my side ached, and I couldn't breathe. I had to slow down, to stop. I fell back against a brick wall. It looked like the side of a curb store maybe, I don't know. My breath was coming hard and short gasps. I tried to slow it, tried to take deep long breaths. I could taste tears or sweat in my mouth. I'm not sure which. I slid down against the wall, searching my pockets for my phone. It wasn't there. "F*CK!" I exclaimed, dropping my head into my hands.