Now or Never

Chapter 48 (Colby's POV)

I leaned back on the bar, propping with one elbow, and watched her walk over to me. Something tried to break through in my head, telling me to walk away, to think about y/n. Then the anger came and shoved that away. I was still angry about the video that she had posted. If she had been any closer to that guy, they would have been f**king. Hell no, I wasn't going to feel guilty about flirting and dancing with this girl. I was going to have fun. The blonde stopped right in front of me, and looked me up and down, giving me a seductive stare. "Hi," she said, her voice sultry. I nodded at her and gave a half grin. "Hey. Wanna dance?" I didn't need to know her name. She was nothing to me but a way to keep having fun. "Definitely." She replied. I turned back to the bar, ordered another drink and downed it. As much alcohol as I've drank tonight, I should be blacked out by now, or at least stumbling around. Weird. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the middle of the crowd. I put my hands on her hips and pulled her body close to mine, letting our bodies press tightly together. She put her arms around my neck, and started to move her hips, grinding into me. I smirked, and moved with her. After a moment, she moved her hands, trailing them down my arms, and over my chest, playing with the buttons of my shirt. I swung her around so that she had her back to me and continued to grind upon her. I took my phone out and recorded it, having her smile and wave at my phone, while I winked and nodded into the recording. "COLBY!" I almost dropped my phone. Keeping one hand on....whatever this girl's name was....her hip, pulled against me, I turned to see Sam coming towards me. I smiled. Okay, I was a little drunk now. "Whassup brother!?" I tried to give him a bro hug but he backed up. "Awww." I stuck out my bottom lip, pretending to pout. He grabbed my arm, pulling me away from the blonde roughly, and I stumbled into him. "Bro..chill. I almost fell." I laughed a little stupidly, and blinked wide, trying to make the room slow down a bit. "Colby, what the f**k are you doing?" "What do you mean? I'm dancing." I motioned to the girl. Sam shook his head, and stared at me in disbelief. "You are practically f**king this girl in the middle of the club. What about y/n?" Her face pushed through the black fog in my head. "Y/N?" I said, like it was a question. I had temporarily forgotten about her, just being in the moment. Guilt set in....but then the voice started. "She didn't want to dance with you. She wanted to grind on that other guy but not you. She was happier when you were gone." I started to get mad, so I glared at Sam. "F**k Y/N. I tried to get her dance. Now leave me alone." I walked back over to the blonde and grabbed her, pressing her against me. I closed my eyes, letting the beat of the music invade my head. The girl's hair kept getting in my face, so I opened my eyes and brushed her hair to the other side of her neck. She let her neck  fall to the side like she was giving me access....her skin was creamy, and the scent was intoxicating. I leaned my head down and pressed my lips to the side of her neck. She moaned a little and pressed back into me. I opened my mouth and let my tongue trail down, then closed my teeth on her skin slightly. "Co-Colby?" I heard my name but I didn't look up. I was in a haze, too far gone. Someone snatched my arm, pulling me back. What the F**k?! It pissed me off so I balled my fist, swinging around. Sam caught my arm, and pushed me back. My head cleared a little. "Bro, what the f**k  are you doing?! I think you need to go home Colby. Sleep it off and then we need to have a talk." I blinked at him, not sure what was going on. "You f**ked up brother..." He said that part quietly. "Wha.." I started to say, then I saw Y/N standing a little behind Sam to the side. She was crying, tears falling quietly down her face. I could see it in her eyes. She was crushed. Everything that I had just done came rushing back to me, filling my head with images that I didn't want to see. I remembered them...I just didn't know why I had done it. I reached my hand out to her. "Y/N, I..." She shook her head, then turned ran away from me, through the crowd of people. I tried to go after her but Sam stopped me. "No brother. Let her be. She's gonna need some time and you need to figure out what's going on with you." The voice started in my head. "There's nothing wrong with you. There's something wrong with everyone else. They don't love you. They don't care about you. Everyone just uses you. Do what you want. They don't care about hurting you!" "Stop it!" I yelled, grabbing my head with both of my hands, and looking down to the ground. "Colby?" Sam called my name, worry in his voice. "What is it bro? What can I do?" I looked back up at him, my blue gaze meeting his own. This was my brother, my best friend. "Sam" My voice came out in a whimper, begging him. "There's something wrong with me. Help me." The voice got louder in my head telling me that I didn't need help, especially from Sam. If there was something wrong with me, he would just take advantage of it and use it for a video. I didn't need him. I didn't need any of them. I saw Kat, Jake, and Tara walk up behind Sam. He turned and that's all the time I needed. I darted through the crowd, out of sight of the others, and left the club. It was just me now. Me and the voice.